A day dealing with a BPD

[maxsterling]

My BPD gf raged and hit me on Friday night.  Saturday, she said she was going to stay with a friend this week.  She's been there since.  I hadn't seen her or talked to her besides text messages until today.

Last night, she sent me a text saying what a good guy I was and that she loves me.  It was late, and I didn't respond.  This morning, she sent a text saying how she wants to break her contract and quit her job because she thinks it is making her sick.  I responded that she should put her health first, but reminded her she quit her last two jobs because they were too stressful and thought things would be better if she quit.  But she was then stressed at not having money or a job.  And then she sent me an angry text that I should not give her a lecture about what to do with her life, and what she wanted was support and not judgment.  She said I was causing her stress in her life.  I told her that I meant no judgment, and that I just wanted to help.

Then her complaint was again about lack of health insurance, and how she needs to see a doctor ASAP and get on medication.  She said she was suicidal and very unstable.  I told her I was concerned.  She later said her AA sponsor would loan her money to see a doctor until her insurance card came.  I later said that I didn't want her to spend tonight alone (her friend is out of town), and invited her over for dinner.  She said that she didn't want to come over, but suggested I meet her somewhere after her AA meeting.  Later, I text messaged her and suggested a place.  She responded angrily, asking why I wanted to go to dinner with her and why I was suggesting a restaurant, saying she didn't want me to dump her in a public place, and that she was very unstable.  I reassured her that I did not want to talk about the relationship, was not planning on telling her to leave my house, and not planning to end the relationship.  I said it would just be nice to see her.  So, she reluctantly agreed to meet me.

I met her at a restaurant, and she didn't want to eat.  I ordered a milkshake, which she wanted to share with me.   She sat there and stared with a depressed look on her face and barely talked.  When I bought things up, she gave short answers.  She complained of being tired and cold.  And she said she must have blown a breaker at the townhouse she is staying at.  I told her I could come by and turn it on for her.

So, I followed her over there, and she wanted me to come in and watch TV with her.  And then she said "isn't this place nice?"  She then said that it was nice to be in a place with a comfortable sofa and that I should get a bigger TV (she CONSTANTLY complained about my sofa).  I told her I needed to leave soon, but she didn't want me to go, and cuddled with me and wanted to watch more TV. 

So, in the course of 24 hours, I was a great guy, then a guy causing her great stress, then fearful I was going to leave her, then reluctantly wanted to see me, then made digs bout my TV and sofa, then didn't want me to leave.

For the sake of everyone in her life, I certainly hope she gets help soon.  Real soon. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[bruceli]

Same thing going on here... . hang in there... . this too shall pass... .