He texted me...

[Scout99]

I have soo been right there too... . Even though it has not been my dick that has been requested but my female counterpart... .

And those moments have indeed made also me question everything in my head! 

This makes me curious, but of course I won't ask!

I kinda chuckled looking back at what I typed, but it's the honest truth. Being a person who acts rationally and keeps my emotions pretty consistent, I will never understand when my BPD gf will get triggered, but it's nice to see that I'm not the only one dealing with these kind of things. It also helped to hear recently from a friend of hers that she has done this with her exes before. Up until now all I've heard from her was "this is your fault, YOU make me like this, it's toxic, our relationship is awful", and now I can sleep sound knowing it's not me. I'm a nice guy and have done nothing to provoke this kind of behavior

Thanks for not asking! 

I am trying so hard to hold on to the little bit of sanity that's left in me after my r/s with my BPD guy... .  

Sleep soundly! I will too!

Best Wishes

Scout99

[sadinnc98]

I woke up in the middle of the night feeling very panicked and upset over this whole situation. I have sick feeling in the pit of my stomach about the whole thing.  I can honestly say, I don't think I want to see him. I feel very protective of myself and caring of my well being (new feeling today) and I don't think he is good for me. Its like my subconscious is telling me I am going to get hurt again.

In looking over everything that he texted me, I really think he was wanting a booty call yesterday... . the timing of the conversation, bringing up old times, he was going to be driving by my exit when I was finishing work, etc... the way the conversation really dropped off once I told him I could not meet with him yesterday. So I think either that is the case, or, maybe he had someone else over. I can say with almost 100% certainty that if I had allowed him to come, he would have wanted to take me to dinner, hook up and then fade off by tomorrow. He has done this before in between break ups... . I think he just wanted validation and sex and I am a sure thing for him. I am NOT going to do that.  I did text him good night last night... he did not respond which hurt. I saw he was active on the dating website again this morning... . again, that tells me a lot of what is going on.  I need to stay the course in my plans to move forward without him. 

I also find it interesting in all of the conversation yesterday (all texting)... . he did not ask me once how I have been doing, what I have been up to, etc... . very interesting.

Yes I have experienced things similar to this. Been "broken up" with 40 times over the phone in the past year and bit, 10 over fb. Most recently blocked # and deleted from fb entirely. Sometimes the day after she "breaks up" with me, she'll call the next day and ask what I'd like to do for our next date. It's madness. And a few times, she has called and said "I miss your dick... " those are the worst of all, and really make me question everything in my head

I get the same confusing messages days after breakup... and the female version of "I miss your dick"... sigh... Like Sunday he was "done and not coming back"... . then last night wanting to see me and take me on a date... huh? I am just not responding anymore. I can't do it. I am really a shell of the person I once was... I imagine with your huge number of recycles like mine, you totally get it! I just really want to be alone and not dealing with the crap anymore!  I am actually at a point now where if I get a text, I hope it is NOT him... because he=pain.  I am getting there!

[Notthesame64]

pawpaw is right on the money. ive seen it for six years they have to be the that did the leaving.

Yes...

[peas]

Oh man this thread really takes me back to the recycles.

With mine, by phone:

Occasion 1 (drunk): Eff you. We're done. I'll go screw my other women.

Three days later: I miss you. When can I see you? I don't have any other women.

Occasion 2 (sober): I'm breaking up with you! I don't want to do this anymore! I don't want to be with you!

10 days after NC: Hey, what are you up to? I miss you so much.

Me: You broke up with me. You said you didn't want to be with me anymore.

Him: No (like he never said it or didn't mean it).

And in between there were the "I can't do this anymore. Move on. Go live your life" messages on Facebook and e-mail.

[sadinnc98]

Oh man this thread really takes me back to the recycles.

With mine, by phone:

Occasion 1 (drunk): Eff you. We're done. I'll go screw my other women.

Three days later: I miss you. When can I see you? I don't have any other women.

Occasion 2 (sober): I'm breaking up with you! I don't want to do this anymore! I don't want to be with you!

10 days after NC: Hey, what are you up to? I miss you so much.

Me: You broke up with me. You said you didn't want to be with me anymore.

Him: No (like he never said it or didn't mean it).

And in between there were the "I can't do this anymore. Move on. Go live your life" messages on Facebook and e-mail.

This is just mind boggling isn't it! I am now getting the "I miss you" texts... . this is usually when he puts the heat on to see me... . And ummm didn't two days ago he just say "Mean it this time... not coming back, move on"... and he is baaaacckkk... .  Im not giving into it this time however. I am ready to be done. Im not going to be used to tossed away any longer. (at least I am trying to be this way... . I have a lot of moments of weakness that I am REALLY struggling with. Talked to T today and she gave me some tips)

[peas]

It helps to be seeing a therapist through this. I have good health insurance, so I schedule weekly visits. It's a big release. I find that after my therapy sessions I have less anxiety with NC.

Hang in there! Don't be hard on yourself and understand you are only human. This is a tough stage right now. But you sound like you are thinking more with your head than your heart, which means you are finding balance. When it's all heart and no head or guts, as we are prone with pwBPD, that's when everyone overstays their welcome.

What I tell myself when I get down about the loss of my ex, I just say: If we are meant to reunite, we'll reunite, but it's up to the universe to arrange that. For now, I can only control today the NC commitment I made for myself because it's what I have to do.

[sadinnc98]

Its really, really hard! I know in my   I can't truly do NC... . just yet. I have to respond to his texts... so I took them down a notch. I became short, showed no emotion, no emoticons, no fluffing his ego, etc... and I felt ok until I realized he noticed it and was asking if I am ok, etc... then I felt bad like I am hurting his feelings. For the past 14 hours I have been trying desperately not to reach out and text him that I miss him... bc I do. I am wondering since my texts are on the "cold" side if he will go away and stop texting me now or what will happen.  I hate this whole situation-my emotions are just all over the place.

[willtimeheal]

Hey sadinnc

It is hard. NC is very difficult. I am struggling with it too. My ex BPD messaged me yesterday and today. I was doing great up to the point I got those texts. I wish they would just leave us alone. I haven't response  yet and am trying to decide if I should. I did talk with want2know and the suggestion was closed responses. Responses that don't elicit responses. So I am toying with that idea. Hang in there. Keep responses short and don't give away your power. Don't let him know he is getting to you. Post on here how he is getting to you. Don't give him your power. Hang in there

[LoneWolf768]

I do not believe they are ever really done. It looks to me like he was on a fishing expedition. He hadn't heard from you and since that is hurting him he said something to make you hurt. Your response confirmed his suspicions, you are still on the hook. Go back to NC and he will send you another message. In the meantime you need to decide if you want to keep putting up with his games or if you are ready to move on.

papwapa, my ex BPD'er is done. If you could've heard and read what we both said and wrote to one another and to other people, you'd agree with me. Trust me, she's had enough of me and I'm sure one day I'll feel the same way. I'm an exception to the 'Establish NC' because I don't have to set up any NC boundaries. They're already up and I didn't even have to do any of the work. 

Wouldn't it be my luck to get over her, meet and fall for an emotionally healthy woman who falls for me in the same way... . and she comes out of nowhere and contacts me or tries to contact me.  I don't see it, but it could only happen to a guy like me. I'm just that lucky. My heart and gut say she won't. Ever.