I know it's wrong but I REALLY want to tell him how much I hate him right now

[Depression = 72% of members]

I know NC is the right way and i've been doing great at it for almost 6 weeks but for some reason I just decided to look through old pics and I am now FURIOUS!

He threw everything away. Our life, our family, our dreams. Not just his own, he took mine down with him and I have never hated anyone in my life but I really feel like I hate that man for what he has done to me and my children.

AAAAHHHHHHHH

[viccijo]

I know NC is the right way and i've been doing great at it for almost 6 weeks but for some reason I just decided to look through old pics and I am now FURIOUS!

He threw everything away. Our life, our family, our dreams. Not just his own, he took mine down with him and I have never hated anyone in my life but I really feel like I hate that man for what he has done to me and my children.

AAAAHHHHHHHH

[Bananas]

viccijo,

Believe me i have been there!  It is normal to feel some anger after what you have been through.   

A few things that helped me is I packed all memories of my ex in a box and put the box in the garage.  I took the photos off the computer and put them on a thumb drive and also threw that in the box.

Another thing I would do is write letters to my ex expressing my anger.  I never mailed them but it did provide me some relief.

Hang in there!   How are your children handling things?

[simplyasiam]

im feeling about the same seems like such a waste. sundays are the hardest part for me all for of us would have been setting here dinner over kids watching toons getting ready for a bath. instead she let this illness run are life. now im alone here in this shell of a home her and the kids are living our old life with a new man. she now better still ill still cycling up and down only thing new is our dreams are dead. im pizzed she didnt do more to control her moods and gave into them. im sick of always having to be the adult. sick of living alone.

all we can do is be normal and deal with this crap.

[rj_2007]

    I know how you feel, how could someone care so little. I officially hate her( me ex ). I am so sorry

[viccijo]

I watched The Notebook for the first time tonight, thought I would be okay. I realised I HAD that love, the love you see in the movies. But it wasn't real, from my side I felt it 100% but it was all a lie. I think I would prefer to have never felt that love at all than to have felt it and realise I gave it but never got it in return. :-(

Bananas, The kids are used to it only being us. He came and went as he felt like it. They are fine and happy and I am a good actress :-) Thank you for asking after them.

[Emelie Emelie]

I'm with you tonight.  I'd love to tell him a lot of things that I never did.  Because I was always taking care of his feelings.  Have been taking care of him feelings since he dumped me.  What the heck is wrong with me? 

[thisyoungdad]

I have felt this way off and on, just this week I wanted more than anything to call her and just let it all out. I too however have done what banana's suggested about putting EVERYTHING in a box and putting it away in my storage room. It has helped immensely. I cried and cried until I was dehydrated and exhausted, some of that from grief, some from anger, and in the end I felt so much relief. It still comes back on occasion but nothing like it was and not nearly as frequent now. If I have to say something I write an email to her, but I don't put her address in it just to be safe, and then put it into a folder just for that. That also helps me. It is hard for me but I have slowly been coming to terms with the fact that even if I was able to tell her all of the things I want, she may physically hear me but she will be so detached and not present she won't take it in and it would be wasted and I would be more upset. So this is the best route for me.

[Clearmind]

viccijo, yep and for a very long time - too long - I allowed it.

The anger I felt was anger towards myself for staying despite it. Angry that I could have walked away at any time and didn't - interesting that!