Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 06:07:27 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Why Do I Want Contact Today?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Why Do I Want Contact Today? (Read 409 times)
bauers220
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 122
Why Do I Want Contact Today?
«
on:
September 06, 2013, 09:11:18 AM »
The "pull" is very strong today. I've come to know it as a "pull" cause it seems to most times be two sided... . like I KNOW I'm going to hear or she WANTS to hear from me. I am resisting this one as she told me NO CONTACT ever again.
Does anyone else go through this? I use to attribute it to the "connection" between us - I could FEEL when she was coming back around. I had a dream last night too that we made up and there was a lot of affection in my dream... . this happened about 2-3 days before contact last time.
Would love to know if this is just me or if anyone else experiences this too.
Logged
DetroitDame
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 37
Re: Why Do I Want Contact Today?
«
Reply #1 on:
September 06, 2013, 10:39:33 AM »
In the beginning, I did not listen to my ex when he indicated NO CONTACT. I strongly recommend you just resist the urge and not make the contact. You appear to want contact and are receptive to it from her so just wait for her to come around to initiating it. I suffered a great deal of pain and stunted healing by not respecting the NO CONTACT request of my ex. I know it is hard but just relax, think nice thoughts, reminsce, but don't contact.
Logged
simplyasiam
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 372
Re: Why Do I Want Contact Today?
«
Reply #2 on:
September 06, 2013, 12:42:13 PM »
im fighting the same thing today my ex makes contact every week email facebook txt call something every week. ive never been able to go more than 48 hours without calling her back. its been 6 months of this... . i miss you love want you dont like life with out. contact ends the same way everytime. she stays with the new b/f i change my cell number and stop talking to her, for a week. then it starts all over. wed was 7 days n/c and like clock work at 730 AM a facebook message. ive not answered i know i could block her, i dont want to block her. i want her to know ive seen the message. i want her to know im not calling or beging anymore. i want her know i can live without her.
i want her back want my family back but calling her and telling her that again is going to end the same way. this time im run this dog and pony show. when she contact me about something i want to hear, ill talk to her at that point. she knows how to work me but know i know thats what shes doing. if she cant take charge of this illness and get help we will have be over. the end of family for ever is hers to deal with.
i quess what im saying is if you want it to be stay like it is keep doing what your doing! if not do something new.
Logged
DetroitDame
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 37
Re: Why Do I Want Contact Today?
«
Reply #3 on:
September 06, 2013, 12:44:56 PM »
Stay strong and only respond based on your guidelines you specified. I know it's hard but it is what we must do to heal.
Logged
bauers220
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 122
Re: Why Do I Want Contact Today?
«
Reply #4 on:
September 06, 2013, 12:55:31 PM »
Thank you all for your responses. I've never broke N/C - even when it went almost 3 weeks back in Jan/Feb. At this point I want my life back. I was not married to her - we are both married to other people. My husband has known all about this and has been the one to hold me up each time. This time was so bad he has told me no more - And I will NOT sacrifice him for her! He's normal, sane, wonderful man who supported my curiosity and allowed me to seek a GF. Talk about your all time back fire!
She has pushed me away so many times. She gets confused and feels guilt over her relationship with me - and will end it based on needing to be faithful in her marriage - okay so I go with it. Then she will come back weeks later - sometimes we fight and do not speak because she cannot handle the fact that I do live my own life not based on her actions. My sin... . I was with someone else during one of those times of N/C.
So I do not know if I will hear from her ever again. This might be a deal breaker for her - the one thing she always counted on was that I was just "waiting" for her return. How unfair to hold that standard over me... .
But I digress - I have allowed it to continue... .
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
> Topic:
Why Do I Want Contact Today?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...