The kid's phone is being misused...

[ForeverDad]

And if you don't try, you don't know what would have happened.  Even if it fails, it may be laying the groundwork for later motions.  Often a case isn't won by a single incident but by a pattern of behaviors and incidents over time.

About phones, every time I go to whitepagesdotcom to do a reverse look up it always offers to link me to a paid service offering more information.  I'm not so sure you'd get much information though.

Hmm, it seems that call activity might be a barometer to how ex's live is going and how she may behave?

[Nope]

And if you don't try, you don't know what would have happened.  Even if it fails, it may be laying the groundwork for later motions.  Often a case isn't won by a single incident but by a pattern of behaviors and incidents over time.

About phones, every time I go to whitepagesdotcom to do a reverse look up it always offers to link me to a paid service offering more information.  I'm not so sure you'd get h information though.

Hmm, it seems that call activity might be a barometer to how ex's live is going and how she may behave?

Yeah it's been two years and and $25k in billing and all we have to show for it is this less than great parenting plan and the one finding of contempt. It seems to me that our L didn't really take an interest in our case until about three months ago when I sent her a binder and a thumb drive full of documentation and evidence. There really wasn't much of anything going on with this case until I got involved and started giving her something to work with. She is supposed to be a great lawye but she has messed up more than once. Neither I or my fiance are the paying party and neither my fiance or the paying party are willing to start over with a new lawyer. But she hasn't said we can't win or anything like that. I have heard that from my dad (who had to fight to get custody of myself and my brother a million years ago) and from the mediator during court ordered meditation.

I did try paying through white pages and got nothing. But I do suppose the phone might turn out to be somewhat of a mood predictor right now.

The thing that killed me was that at the end of speaking to the kids on Monday, he told each child that he loves them and they each responded with, "okay".

[catnap]

The thing that killed me was that at the end of speaking to the kids on Monday, he told each child that he loves them and they each responded with, "okay".

I would bet a lot of money that she is standing over them while they speak to their Dad. 

[Nope]

The thing that killed me was that at the end of speaking to the kids on Monday, he told each child that he loves them and they each responded with, "okay".

I would bet a lot of money that she is standing over them while they speak to their Dad. 

Yup. She often does that if she is with the kids during call time. When she doesn't stand over them she puts their phone on speaker and will sometimes add her two cents into his conversations with the kids. There have been a few times where she has started screaming and terminated the phone call due to some perceived slight. We, of course, have all that recorded.

[livednlearned]

The thing that killed me was that at the end of speaking to the kids on Monday, he told each child that he loves them and they each responded with, "okay".

If you read what the children of divorce with one BPD parent say on these boards, you get a window into what might be going on. Sometimes they do it to protect themselves, but sometimes they do it because they want to protect the BPD parent. It's complex. I think what you're doing is really important -- when they get older, they'll need to know you did what you could to help them. Even if right now they can't advocate for themselves, one day they will, and knowing you tried will matter.

[david]

Our two boys ( 14 and 10 ) talk quite different when their mom is near and they are talking to me on the phone. I don't even ask whether she is there or not it is so distinct. They are very guarded when she is near. Ther have been times when I was talking to them and they didn't really respond. They would then go outside with the phone or call me back later to clarify. During that exchange they would just say that their mom wasn't near. I did question them a while back as to why they talked so differently. They both replied that I didn't understand but mom would be mad. Sadly, I do understand.