off my radar

[simplyasiam]

monday will be 14 days n/c on my part she did email me this past wed.

its been going on 6 months that she left. the frist four were hell for me.

now that im getting a grip on my feelings and a better understanding of BPD. im feeling alot better.

the past two months her contact would come after a week, i would answer we would talk for a few days. she would make sure i was hooked and then back away again.

thanks to the ppl on this boared family and friends i was abel to better see the truth.

the longing to talk to her is passing a little more each day.

at last im seeing her slip off my radar. i do still offten think of the her and out old life but thats normal im sure.

the feeling of living again is coming back

im not over come with fear. i do still shake a little when f/b messages come in or a txt or call out of the blue. becouse i dont know if its her.

many here have told to block her in every way.  i did that for a time but for me that was just hiding. some part of me wants her to know ive seen the mail seen the txt. i need that so i dont feel so week.

i do hold out  a slim hope her knowing im done will push her to get help she may never want are family back but atleast if she knows she cant left out in the cold maybe she will change for her kids and herself.

i will just have to see what wed brings to see if no reply from me broke the cycle.

[Surnia]

simplyasiam

good to hear that you are feel living again! 

yes, it needs patience.

About blocking her completely or not: It has to feel right for you.

Keep going!