Searching for answers through the Church

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Today I'm meeting with our Pastor alone to discuss the issues we've been dealing with and BPD. We are currently separated and things aren't looking good at all (my decision) but the struggles are obviously still there.

Has anyone else done this? Did you feel this method of counselling was successful in your search for answers?

[Mase11]

Today I'm meeting with our Pastor alone to discuss the issues we've been dealing with and BPD. We are currently separated and things aren't looking good at all (my decision) but the struggles are obviously still there.

Has anyone else done this? Did you feel this method of counselling was successful in your search for answers?

[sharlock]

I think speaking to both a pastor and a psychologist may be your best route

A pastor will give a religious view point, which is important especially if your faith is a large part of who you are.  I know I pray to Jesus everyday asking Him to help me while I manage this friendship with my BPD friend.  In many ways my friendship is a blessing but still I have pain, and Jesus helps me get through those rough days.

I also think a licensed professional (like a psychologist) is very important because they are professionally trained to help you manage your BPD relationship.

I'm sorry for the possible divorce.  Hopefully you can get the support you need.  This message board is awesome too.

[Contradancer]

I'm a retired pastor, so I know this to be true.  Pastors, even those with counseling training in seminary, are not up for big-time psychological counseling dealing with BPD.  You need to see someone with more mental illness training for that.

Yes, I'm divorced from my BPDxh.  I still get to deal with my N/BPD mother.

Best wishes and prayers for you.

[Mase11]

Thanks for the response.

I guess I should have let you know that I've been going to counselling since March and she has been great. I'd be a mess without her help.

Yestderday's meeting with the Pastor went well, she was very supportive of me (of course) and if we went down the path of divorce, she understands completely with all that's gone on. (affair, lying, excessive spending, lying, physical mental abuse, lying etc... )

I felt she was thinking it would be the best for me, maybe it was by the way I spoke about our life and it seemed pretty obvious to her, but that's what I took from the conversation. I could be wrong, I have been many times lately.

Just a little bit of info, my wife has recently been diagnosed with severe BPD. She was diagnosed in 2006 but she now is at a point where meds are a must, there is no coming off of them. Her new psychiatrist also said these types of pwBPDs are born with it and also have mild schizophrenia. Scary if true.