My Tips for Healing

[fiddlestix]

As I continue my regiment of No Contact I am also very intentional about other aspects of my healing.  I was with my diagnosed bipolar/addict and BPD wife for over 25 years (she is a total package ).  So I have a lot of cleansing and "reprogramming" to do.  In addition to seeing a good therapist who will help me clean the cobwebs out of some awkward childhood issues, I am doing the following:

Praying to the God of my understanding- this helps me get out of my head and feel like I am unloading some of the weight on Something/Someone bigger than me. It's quite liberating.

Reading encouraging/spiritual material- wisdom, ancient and modern can be a comfort.  Psalm 57:1-3 is a fave of mine. 

Spending time with loving, kind family and friends- I have had enough insults, put-downs, devaluing... .I now choose my company carefully. 

Exercising-this is something I have always done. My routine is like an old friend whom I have known since before she entered my life. 

Treat myself to tasty foods, beautiful scenery, nature, art, music, movies, books... .Why not dazzle my senses a little?  It helps remind me that I am a human being, fully equipped to enjoy life and its wonders.  It also clarifies that the world is still awesome, despite the anguish I have suffered with my BPD ex.

I know that most of this is pretty basic stuff.  But when we get in a funk we need to be prodded to live, not just exist.  Day by day, this is helping me get through this.  I hope there are some ideas here that others can enjoy. 


Fiddlestix

[Ironmanrises]

As I continue my regiment of No Contact I am also very intentional about other aspects of my healing.  I was with my diagnosed bipolar/addict and BPD wife for over 25 years (she is a total package ).  So I have a lot of cleansing and "reprogramming" to do.  In addition to seeing a good therapist who will help me clean the cobwebs out of some awkward childhood issues, I am doing the following:

Praying to the God of my understanding- this helps me get out of my head and feel like I am unloading some of the weight on Something/Someone bigger than me. It's quite liberating.

Reading encouraging/spiritual material- wisdom, ancient and modern can be a comfort.  Psalm 57:1-3 is a fave of mine. 

Spending time with loving, kind family and friends- I have had enough insults, put-downs, devaluing... .I now choose my company carefully. 

Exercising-this is something I have always done. My routine is like an old friend whom I have known since before she entered my life. 

Treat myself to tasty foods, beautiful scenery, nature, art, music, movies, books... .Why not dazzle my senses a little?  It helps remind me that I am a human being, fully equipped to enjoy life and its wonders.  It also clarifies that the world is still awesome, despite the anguish I have suffered with my BPD ex.

I know that most of this is pretty basic stuff.  But when we get in a funk we need to be prodded to live, not just exist.  Day by day, this is helping me get through this.  I hope there are some ideas here that others can enjoy. 


Fiddlestix

In bold.



Good to see that you are healing Fiddle.

We almost forget the world around us... .

When immersed in this unforgiving... .

And hellish... .

Ordeal.

With my newfound learning of the Japanese language that i have started not long ago... .

Which is helping me heal... .

In place of my comatose artwork... .

I am planning a trip to Japan next year.

I need to get away from this.

At least for a while.

A trip 16 hours away by plane... .

Is a start.

[Surnia]

Spending time with loving, kind family and friends- I have had enough insults, put-downs, devaluing... .I now choose my company carefully. 

Exercising-this is something I have always done. My routine is like an old friend whom I have known since before she entered my life. 

Treat myself to tasty foods, beautiful scenery, nature, art, music, movies, books... .Why not dazzle my senses a little?  It helps remind me that I am a human being, fully equipped to enjoy life and its wonders. 

A big YES! Keep going and thank you for sharing!

[hopealways]

BRAVO Fiddlestix! Reading this made me smile especially the "Treat myself to tasty foods, beautiful scenery" gave me a nice visual of you actually treating YOURSELF for a change. Many of the victims of BPD individuals are people pleaser types which stems from childhoods where we came from turbulent households where we had to be the emotional caretaker of one parent.  Growing up we find happiness in making others happy instead of ourselves. BPD people feel this that's why they seek us out and latch on to us.  We are their prey.  Keep on taking care of yourself. I am not saying be selfish but it's nice to treat yourself for a change.

[peas]

Treat myself to tasty foods, beautiful scenery, nature, art, music, movies, books... .Why not dazzle my senses a little?  It helps remind me that I am a human being, fully equipped to enjoy life and its wonders.  It also clarifies that the world is still awesome, despite the anguish I have suffered with my BPD ex.

Hell yes.

I splurged on a very good Chinese massage today. The lady worked wonders. I imagined her pushing out the toxins from the hangover that is my BPD breakup. I also have been very stressed from work. I had a lot of pent up tension and the massage helped alleviate some of that.

Bonus: the masseuse complimented me by saying I have "very beautiful leg." Then I thought: eff you, exBPDguy. You are missing out on my beautiful legs. Sucker.

Then I ate a nice meal and bought an electronics device I've been wanting for over a year.

Yeah, it was an overdue $300 day.

[Emelie Emelie]

I'm with hope always.  Bravo!