Sometimes I Really Believe There is a Physical Component...

[downandin]

to BPD, that is.  One of the things I have noticed most is my wife's 'sensory defensiveness.'  Yes, this is a real physiological condition.  I'll list a few of the problems:

She has always complained about the way I eat.  She says I 'smack' or chew too loudly, even when my mouth is closed.  Our youngest son also has this reaction.

She gets very defensive if I do not hear something she says and I ask her to repeat herself.  This has actually lead to rages, believe it or not.

If we are watching television and I make a comment about something, she will often times get very angry and say that she could not hear what was going on on the show, even if my comment was very short.

She has a real texture problem with some foods.  Our oldest son also has this problem, and his is much worse than his mother's, in fact.  He will not eat bananas because they are 'slimy.'  I've never known anyone who feels this way about bananas.

She also has a hypersensitivity to surprise, like if I walk into a room unexpected she will sometimes literally screem in shock.

Both the oldest and youngest sons, as noted, have some of these issues.  The oldest also exhibits hypersensitivity to clothing.  He will not wear some shirts at all, because he says the fabric bothers him.  He will not wear long sleeve shirts at all, because the sleeves bother his wrists.

There has to be something here.  I wonder if this could be a major factor in BPD.  If 'sensory defensiveness' is transferred to 'emotional defensiveness,' then it is pretty clear how this might be true.  Also so many BPDs self injure.  Could this be because they do not have adequate sensory processing abilities?  Could there be an underlying physical illness that is the root of the problem or at least contributory?  Could it be a central nervous system issue?  I really wish someone would investigate the possibility. 

[bombdiffuser]

She has always complained about the way I eat.  She says I 'smack' or chew too loudly, even when my mouth is closed.  Our youngest son also has this reaction.

She gets very defensive if I do not hear something she says and I ask her to repeat herself.  This has actually lead to rages, believe it or not.

If we are watching television and I make a comment about something, she will often times get very angry and say that she could not hear what was going on on the show, even if my comment was very short.

She has a real texture problem with some foods. 

Check. Check. Check. Check. Hard to believe until you live it! I have trained myself to specifically ask my dBPDw to "please speak up" if I didn't hear what she said. I used to always say "what?" but she would just repeat herself just as quietly. If I have to ask a 2nd time automatic rage is triggered.

[Waddams]

Lots of times, BPD (and other dx's) are co-morbid with a bunch of things.  One being issues with sensory integration.  You just described it rather accurately.

There's a book for parents with kids that have these issues called "The Out of Sync Child".  It's pretty good for this sort of thing.

Sensory integration issues also manifest in otherwise completely normal people, so it's not just a BPD thing, but it is a condition where the nervous system is not firing the way most other people's does.  There are actual occupational and physical therapies that can help normalize some of these issues.