September 1st was the last text. She tried texting and calling... .all hours of the day and night and using anonymous # so I couldn't block. Finally, I changed my phone number. So she tried coming to see me. I did not answer the door or speak to her.
The FOG has mostly lifted... .though every once in a while I feel a bit of sadness for what I hoped we would have been/had. I still sift through some of the details... .I try to remember, were the good times really that good? Wait! Did that really happen? Oh yeah... .it did, but then... . You know the drill, right?
As I swam my 2500 yards today, she popped into my brain a couple of times. I smiled at her memory and thought about how much I've changed... .about how much stronger I have become mentally and physically. I don't think she'd like me anymore, if she didn't hate me already... .ROFLMAO. Gotta have a sense of humor, right?
Honestly, I don't feel like I am going to die anymore. In fact, I feel stronger than I have felt in my whole life. I don't want a romantic relationship with anyone. I'm really enjoying my time caring for me.
I've decided I'm going to train for a 1/2 Ironman Triathlon... .the one I plan to do will be next October, so I have a year to get there. I'm excited! For the first time in my life, I feel free to push my own limits. It's a really good feeling and I hope I get to keep it for a while.
Thinking about my friends on this board. I'm thankful for all who have shared on this journey. Hoping your day is filled with healing, all sorts of good things, and forward progress.
