My 15 year old daughter newly daignosed

[mjn9]

My daughter is currently under 3rd inpatient treatment in about a year. First for anorexia/suicidal thoughts, then for depression/suicidal thoughts, and again for depression/suicidal thoughts. We also had a brief runaway episode when she ran away because she was afraid she was going to overdose on some pills. She has also self-harmed throughout and his been ill for a year and a half-2 years it seems. Current psychiatrists have given us a diagnosis of BPD and I'm reading up on it.

In some ways BPD sounds a lot like her, in others not so much. Especially we don't experience any rage episodes. She is very closed and rarely discusses her emotional issues with us although otherwise we get along ok. I'm hoping to learn a lot from this site and get some suggestions for treatment. This is what it seems like she is dealing with:

1)   Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment:- Not so much

2)   A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between  extremes of idealization and devaluation: -maybe, some?

3)  Identity disturbance:  markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self: - very much

4)   Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).- not really

5)   Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior: -very much

6)   Affective [mood] instability. :- yes

7)   Chronic feelings of emptiness.:- very much

8)   Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).:- don't know. Not outwardly. Maybe all internalized?

9)   Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.:- I think so

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Hazelrah]

Hi mjn9, and 

First off, let me say how sorry I am to hear about the difficulties your family and daughter have been experiencing.  I don't have children, but I imagine it must be heartbreaking to see your daughter suffer as she has.  Rest assured you've come to a great site with plenty of folks who can share similar stories and provide some helpful advice along the way.

Not all borderlines are created equal, and doctors usually require only five of the nine criteria you listed for a BPD diagnosis.  Whether she is actually BPD or not, her behaviors are alarming, and she certainly needs the help you are trying to get for her.  Being a teenager is hard enough--but being a teen suffering from such anguish can be especially difficult for sure.

A great first resource to check out is: What can a parent do?  I also invite you to visit the Parenting a son or daughter suffering from BPD board.  On this board, you'll be able to engage with senior members who can offer encouragement and share their own experiences of parenting a child with BPD.

We are glad you've found us, mjn, and we look forward to learning more about you and your family.   

[peaceplease]

mjn9,

.  I would like to join Hazelrah in welcoming you to this site.  I am sorry about your daughter.  I am glad that you found our support site.

Please let us know how we can best support you.

I hope to see you over on the parents board.  My daughter is an adult, age 29.  We have many parents with teens on the board.  I hope you will join us.

peaceplease