Told her I was moving on

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

After we split up over a month ago my BPD ex has continued to text me as her 'best friend'.

I was getting to the stage where I would be wondering when the next text would come. Kind of hoping to get one.

Last night she text wanting to chat. I replied only to get the silent treatment after 2 texts.

This morning I told her that I was deleting her number and that this was the last she would hear from me.

Hope its the end.

[strikeforce]

After we split up over a month ago my BPD ex has continued to text me as her 'best friend'.

I was getting to the stage where I would be wondering when the next text would come. Kind of hoping to get one.

Last night she text wanting to chat. I replied only to get the silent treatment after 2 texts.

This morning I told her that I was deleting her number and that this was the last she would hear from me.

Hope its the end.

[Garpsish]

Just take a step back and think for a second bro

There is alot of extremely hurt and broken people on this forum venting lots of anger and despair it is easy to get sucked in a your judgement become clouded by the pain you see, BPD can be very destructive as we all know but every single person diagnosed with it is diffrent in their own way just as people no single person is the same.

Consider how you guys split and the real reasons behind it and how much does this girl mean to you ?consider breaking contact having control over weither you contact her or not is much better than running from your problems, you cant do this in life man you gota take things head on hard lesson to learn.

Whatever you decide to do bro stay true to yaself and do what feels right egret is a nasty thing gl bud 

[strikeforce]

Just take a step back and think for a second bro

There is alot of extremely hurt and broken people on this forum venting lots of anger and despair it is easy to get sucked in a your judgement become clouded by the pain you see, BPD can be very destructive as we all know but every single person diagnosed with it is diffrent in their own way just as people no single person is the same.

Consider how you guys split and the real reasons behind it and how much does this girl mean to you ?consider breaking contact having control over weither you contact her or not is much better than running from your problems, you cant do this in life man you gota take things head on hard lesson to learn.

Whatever you decide to do bro stay true to yaself and do what feels right egret is a nasty thing gl bud 

It wasn't a decision I took lightly. She told me she was settled with another guy and would text things to make me jealous. I was loosing sleep and getting ill.

A break in contact might just be what she needs to realize she cant do that. Yep she's disordered and maybe me keeping in contact isn't helping her either?

[Garpsish]

ye if thats the case she's is playing with your heart bro if she's moved on she shouldnt be texting you hit like that, thats just not on maybe its time to say goodbye or could she possibly want you to fight for her ? or has she already made it apparent that its over ?

[strikeforce]

She wanted to be my friend. I told her I still loved and cared for her. Of course that just made her more determined to hurt me in anyway she could.

She cant deal with me not being there though. I was the longest BF she had, fixed so much for her, got her into therapy, calmed her mood. Now am gone she's freaking out.

[Learning_curve74]

Hi strikeforce, I know it was difficult for you to go NC. It's a decision that many people on the Leaving board make. I don't consider it "running away" but consider it being proactive, facing your issues, and doing something about them. 

Do you want to be "best friends"? What does "best friends" mean to you, like what do you expect from her as your best friend? Do you think she has the same expectations of you as her best friend?

NC isn't exactly a tool to teach her to change her behavior, but it is a tool for you to make space and time away from her in order to stop renting her an unhealthy amount of space in your head. It sounds like your break up was too recent and the wound you suffered too hard on you for you to keep playing push-pull games.

NC should be to give yourself the chance to get your head and your heart straight. When people try to use it for another reason or are only half-hearted about it, then that can fall under "dubious intent". When a person is trying to use NC to manipulate or get back with their BPDex, that is being unfair to themselves.

strikeforce, if you haven't read this info about breaking up with a BPD partner, please check it out because it might help you: TOOLS: Exiting a BPD relationship.

You're not the only person who has been asked to be best friends after a BPD breakup. And you're not the only person to struggle with it. We expect our friends to help us, but when they hurt us it often feels worse than being hurt by a stranger. Hang in there and make sure to take care of yourself, strikeforce. 

[strikeforce]

There isn't any possible way for us to be friends. I still have strong feelings and the only way to get over and move on is to cut ties and never look back.

She isn't friend material anyway. The coldness, the silent treatment and the outbursts that we had while in a relationship are still there. I do not want that in my life anymore.

I text her last night saying that I needed a quick word, she replied this morning and I told her that I was deleting her number and that would be me gone. She text back and I deleted her reply without reading it.

I said I was going to do NC 6 weeks or so ago but I failed and gave in. This time I am determined to succeed.

I don't know if she will delete my number and that this is the end of it, only time will tell.