OMG, she just won't shut up

[frag1911]

Ok, I had been updating the post that I started that I was done with my uBPD, but decided to start anew. 

Here I am, stuck in this apartment with this BP who has decided to move out because I ended it (yes, thank you thank you thank you!) and now she keeps coming to me telling me what she's taking.

The coffee table, the end table, the entertainment unit, the peg board.  And absolutely no acknowledgement that I paid for those things because I make more than she does!  Well, sheet, go ahead, as long as you get out of my life, it's just that little bit more that I've paid going through the hell that you made my life, and the sooner I can get started in my recovery!

And because I "apparently don't care", whatever, then she has to start the damn accusations again, trying to get a rise out of me.  At this point, I've engaged the sadistic portion of my personality.  Keeping my mouth shut and watching how it disrupts her emotionally is becoming entertaining.

What I've been dreading, I hope I killed at birth... .she was coming to me quietly asking if we could talk, probably so that she could recycle me back into the relationship.  Oops, that didn't work out well for her.

Oh, and of course the first thing she said when she announced that she was moving out... .she is taking the kitten with her.  Yes, absolutely it hurt, and hurts now.  I have to accept it, live with it, and ready to do so.  But I'm betting she tries to leave her other cat, who she doesn't even care about, pet or for the most part even acknowledge.  That cat is super clingy and meows for attention more than she does.  I've always been the one who sits with this cat and pets and rubs her, so I'm sure that the BP will use that as her excuse to abandon her with me.  "Oh, since you like her so much I thought I'd leave her with you."  Of course this cat and MY cat don't get along at all... .

[frag1911]

She's starting the emotional scramble now.  She just came in and asked me if I love her.  It's going to get ugly soon.

Yes, I was ready for it.  I didn't acknowledge it at all.  I'm waiting for her to start parroting all the things I've said before, including the emotional abuse I've put up with.  That's what she's good at, parroting, because she doesn't have the understanding and empathy to realize an original thought on such things.  It's not that she's stupid or uneducated... .I now believe that she just doesn't have the capacity to consider another person as a person.  Yep, I'm thinking that she may be verging on sociopathic.

She has always mirrored what I've said when I've tried to explain how I felt about her accusations.  So after I bring something up, like the emotional abuse, then during the next blow up she would accuse me of being abusive.  But, her examples were always not applicable.  She accused me of emotional abuse because I would disengage from her ranting and raving tirades that included accusations of all kinds, and I would leave the apartment.  I didn't have to put up with this treatment.  I wouldn't answer her never-ending attempts to call my cell phone or respond to her continuing ranting text messages.  She would never accept that disengaging is an acceptable thing to do when a person feels overwhelmed or threatened.  She wouldn't even accept it from our counselor, who validated it.

Of course she was reacting to her abandonment fears and striking out.  That is her only means of coping.  Attack. 

[RecycledNoMore]

Oh the parrot routine, I used to refer to my uBPDx as " mr mirror" long befor I even knew there was an actual term for it, geezus h christ it drove me absolutely insane!, try an keep your cool frag, you are doin good, Im imagining ur Rocky Balboa, runnin up those stairs, youv done the hard yards frag, dont loose sight of the end goal... .

[goldylamont]

good grief frag, you hang in there! don't do anything you will regret later. i wanted to do soo much that i didn't do and so glad i didn't. you're in the belly of the beast my friend. i went through all the same things. my ex lived with me for 2 months after breaking up, only difference was she started dating this idiot (a lot of guys she dates i think are good men, this guy was just kind of a loser i'm sorry to say) and she would come home and tell me all the great things about him on a daily basis with friendly smile on her face. show off stupid gifts he'd given her and tell me how much she loved him and how much "trust" they had after 2 weeks of knowing each other. (subsequently she was so cruel to this guy, breaking up with him maybe 3 or 4 times and ending the r/s after only 4 months since it lost it's purpose of trying to hurt me).

the smallest response from me would send her raging. and the parroting, my god how polly wanted that effin cracker! i would say "it's not that i can never forgive, it's just that you don't apologize", her rebuttal "YOU DON'T APOLOGIZE!" aaaaaaah! it was the toughest weeks of my life.

my mom gave me a lot of good advice (i didn't even tell her the worst of what was happening b/c i was too embarrassed), but one thing she said was--"don't argue over things if she wants to take them. give her whatever she wants, even if you bought it. you can get another one, a better one later. in fact, be nice and help her pack her isht up and get her the hell out of your home as soon as possible... .oh, and change your locks"

[goldylamont]

and frag, it sounds like you are aware of this but be very careful with your behavior to this person. she's searching for ways to be cruel and manipulate you into having some sort of reaction, verbal or physically that she can use against you at a later date to devalue you to your or her friends. my ex's other xbf's all did crazy stuff, foul name calling, mean text messages and phone calls to her, burning her books and possessions... .a friend of hers told me that the ex before me threw a chair through a window! and she deserved every bit of it i'm sure. i wish i could buy them all a beer and give them a man-hug  ,  . somehow, someway i was able to meditate and sauna my way through this tragedy without giving her fuel to justify her loony behavior... .so be careful, ok? take care of yourself and know that it's not uncommon for BPD to purposefully keep keep keep keep pushing you just so that they can get some dirt on you and say that they are a victim of your abuse. i feel for you, stay strong! and, you have a great sense of humor and wit, this is great and i hope this helps to get you through the toughest of times frag 

[frag1911]

Recyclednomore, thank you for your support!  You're right, I've been running up those damn steps for a long time, and the top is just a step away!

Goldylamont, you had me giggling, and thank you for that!  I do have a positive attitude; I'm positive that I'm getting her out of my life.  And I've already taken your mom's advice, in advance.  Yep, there are things that she's declared that she's taking, and I'm not worried about it.  They were Goodwill finds, so didn't cost a lot anyway.   

I'm not allowing her to even provoke a comment from me.  She came to me last night a few more times than I've posted about.  Just as she did in counseling, it's about the random and irrational accusations, calling me a liar.  Nothing but a broken record.  I've already messaged my friends on FB and such, warning them that she might practice her vindictiveness by contacting them, telling them stories, etc. 

I think they pretty much understood after seeing her ranting in public on FB, after I posted info about Borderline, but I didn't name her or anything like that.  I just pasted in the general description of BPD and "liked" this site's FB page.  She outed herself big time by starting her ranting denial, and shifted over to the usual accusations of me lying, cheating and hiding things.

I just finally "unfriended" her.  Life is getting better, and I thank you for your replies, and everyone else who has read mine or anyone else's posts.  Even if you didn't reply, you felt some sympathy and even a little bit of grief knowing that someone else is suffering, and you understand what it's like.

Thank you to everyone