Husband does not see the problem... Just thinks I think D is evil.

[bubby827]

It really hurts that my son and I take the brunt  of the abuse from my daughter.  I have been telling him...  even explain every outburst,  The truth is I am getting to the point I just want hide away in my room to avoid all the drama.  The Lies, the imaged bullies.  My husband just does not see it.  He works a hour and a half a way and works for 9 hours then drives home for a hour and a half.  She has been kicked out of school so I am with her pretty much 24/7   I have tried to sit with her while she does her homework but she just yells at me that I do not think she is trying.  The truth is I do not think she is and I am not sure she wants to go back to school.  I however and not allowing her to enjoy being at home because I want her to go back to school.  Homeschool will not work when I am the one that has to deal with the abuse.  So today I am going to talk to her psychiatrist in fill him in on the situation.  I am sure he is going to say she will either go to school or she will can be placed in a group home while she works on her DBT.  I have pretty much had it.  I have been the target for a few years and I am falling apart because of it.  My health is suffering and I just don't know what else to do.  Like I said my husband who is at work all day just sees one side... .Not fair.                                                       

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[crazedncrazymom]

Hi dzolkowski!



We have many members here who can empathize with your situation!  It Is so hard to be the one always in the middle of the turmoil.  I remember those days.  The bad times tended to be right after school and by the time dh got home everything was back to normal(ish).  He just didn't get what I was so upset about all the time.  Does he validate and support you during these crisis times with your dd? 

As far as schoolwork goes, what type of accountability can you add for her not doing her work?  It can be crazy making to sit and force her to pay attention to her work.  What can you allow/not allow her to do in accordance with her work?  For instance, cell phones are a privilege that is earned by completing homework for the day.  I will keep your phone until it's done.  Your dh will be there in the evening.  Could he collect the phone or item(s) at the end of every evening and you can return it to her after homework?  That way she's responsible for getting her work done and you can do more productive things.  Would that work in your house?

Do you have your own counselor?  I think many members here have their counselors to help them through these very difficult times.   How do you cope when you are feeling overstressed?

Please take some time and look through the lessons and tools on the right hand side of the screen.  There is some good solid advice and maybe you'll find something new to try.

Keep posting!  It really helps.

-crazed