She is dating her childhood best friend. Saw her Facebook.

[Iamdizzy]

I am an idiot. I had a couple of months of just understanding, truly understanding she is ill and it's time for me to finally let go. I've been feeling rather weak due to the holidays as we all know how rough they can be for us. I looked at her facebook and realized she is dating her childhood best friend. I always assumed whatever relationship she would have would just be a chaotic mess that will just repeat over and over. However, maybe this is different. To TRULY know her past and how she is AND STILL want to date her? either he is severely diluted or she has warped her stories to a point that for this guy, the sky is red and the ocean is purple. I don't know what to feel.

Anyway, Happy holidays to you all!  

[RecycledNoMore]

It dosent matter if he truly knows about her past, he could be einsteinVSstevenhawking

If she is BPD hes in for a s*** storm

Do yourself a favour, stay away from toturing yourself looking at her fb, Ive done it too, nothing good can come from it.

Take care of yourself.

[Turkish]

Note to everybody: BLOCK.

I did this with mine to take the choice of peeking away from myself, because I would indeed peek.

[love4meNOTu]

Absolutely... I don't look for anything about him online or in real life.

Nor his family members... I really don't need to know, it's none of my business anymore. 

Woo hoo!  FREEDOM!

L

[Iamdizzy]

Love4menotu-

Yes, It really is none of my business anymore. I will try to adhere to that during my times of weakness 

[stronger123]

hello, it wont do u any good at all by looking through her fb, I did just the same thing a few months back with my ex h, and he plastered pics msgs etc his new gf calling her baby etc... .and I toutured myself by looking through his profile.

the best thing to do is block her for your on sanity< believe me this will hurt her more when she finds out that u have blocked her, she is only doing all that on fb to piss you off, to get a reation from u, to see in her eyes if u still care, its all about control... as she is very ill they are not in control of there own life so they have to control others close to them. 10 months on for me and ive still blocked him, now im not even curious to unblock him because I know it will only hurt me and I don't want to get hurt any more by him!

I still receive txt msgs about once a month so quite frequent when he wants something but yesterday was different received a txt wishing me a very happy new year and a good Christmas... .I find it bizzare so im a tad confused with it all at the mo, but what I do know is IM IN control of my own life now and it feels good, I feel free atm  with no contact! hope this helps

stronger123

[schwing]

Hi Iamdizzy,

I am an idiot. I had a couple of months of just understanding, truly understanding she is ill and it's time for me to finally let go. I've been feeling rather weak due to the holidays as we all know how rough they can be for us.

You are not an idiot. You want to see how she is doing.  Perhaps there was a part of you that wanted to hear some kind of news that would indicate she's not disordered: that she regrets how things had turned out, that she regrets her part of how things ended, that she misses you. 

I looked at her facebook and realized she is dating her childhood best friend. I always assumed whatever relationship she would have would just be a chaotic mess that will just repeat over and over. However, maybe this is different.

The "chaotic mess" doesn't happen at the beginning.  It didn't happen at the beginning with you, it won't happen at the beginning of the next one or the one after that.  This one might be different, only in the sense that it may drag out a lot longer than your short-lived BPD relationships.

To TRULY know her past and how she is AND STILL want to date her? either he is severely diluted or she has warped her stories to a point that for this guy, the sky is red and the ocean is purple. I don't know what to feel.

I don't think this next person "truly" knows her past.  He only knows *her* version of the past. And you already know how distorted that can be.  And for all we know, he has been pining for her all these years.  And for all we know, in the next few years he will be posting here telling us all about his woes and confusion.

Don't think that any of her behavior reflects upon you in any way.  She is doing what she is doing because it is par for the course when it comes to her disorder.  Her attachment towards you wasn't meaningless to her.  But the way she handles attachments is disordered in nature.

Focus on taking care of yourself.

Best wishes, Schwing

[Iamdizzy]

Scheming, thank you you're post was helpful. Happy holidays!


I understand. I totally understand her actions are not specific to me nor did I cause them, she's so far gone that its the only way in her mind at least, she knows how to survive.