"eye openers"

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Down here, where I'm from, We call a morning alcoholic bevearge an "eye opener".  Something used for lift off after a night on the town.

But I wanted to open a new thread of times when you literally had to open your eyes to their condition.

For example:

During the last attempt at recycle, she sat me down at a coffee shop and told me "We have problems, I talked to my pastor at church and he says we can do anything through the Lord Jesus Chris, our savior, but I needed to work on me (drinking), and she needed to work on her.  That she couldn't trust anyone.  I think this was an honest statement probably one of the few times she ever was really honest.  I also think that she saw me detaching and she could stick around and love me from afar... .just don't get too close.  A week later I found out she was lying to me.  She was at a concert with "friends", but told me she was in a church prayer group  at 11 pm on a tuesday night.  So much for the Lord Jesus Christ our savior, eh?

I spoke to her dad back in August.  told him i was done, I had got into the Petroleum Engineering school I wanted 60 miles away, the house was gonig up for sale, and he needed to help mover her out.  He had 10 days to do it.  She called me up and that's when we had the conversation (above paragraph).  I can see that the conversation I had with her dad and about moving for school triggered her abandonment issues.

- saw her crack a beer bottle over her head... .literally, a beer bottle over her head.

-Her facebook page

-her interest in older men

-isolating me from family and friends

-triangulation

I could go on and on.  But now the FOG is lifting I am seeing more and more.  And more will be revealed.

Discuss

[arn131arn]

Down here, where I'm from, We call a morning alcoholic bevearge an "eye opener".  Something used for lift off after a night on the town.

But I wanted to open a new thread of times when you literally had to open your eyes to their condition.

For example:

During the last attempt at recycle, she sat me down at a coffee shop and told me "We have problems, I talked to my pastor at church and he says we can do anything through the Lord Jesus Chris, our savior, but I needed to work on me (drinking), and she needed to work on her.  That she couldn't trust anyone.  I think this was an honest statement probably one of the few times she ever was really honest.  I also think that she saw me detaching and she could stick around and love me from afar... .just don't get too close.  A week later I found out she was lying to me.  She was at a concert with "friends", but told me she was in a church prayer group  at 11 pm on a tuesday night.  So much for the Lord Jesus Christ our savior, eh?

I spoke to her dad back in August.  told him i was done, I had got into the Petroleum Engineering school I wanted 60 miles away, the house was gonig up for sale, and he needed to help mover her out.  He had 10 days to do it.  She called me up and that's when we had the conversation (above paragraph).  I can see that the conversation I had with her dad and about moving for school triggered her abandonment issues.

- saw her crack a beer bottle over her head... .literally, a beer bottle over her head.

-Her facebook page

-her interest in older men

-isolating me from family and friends

-triangulation

I could go on and on.  But now the FOG is lifting I am seeing more and more.  And more will be revealed.

Discuss

[Pearl55]

Haha, Trust doesn't exist in borderlines. They lie like they drink water!

[Soldier Of Sorrow]

I could go on and on.  But now the FOG is lifting I am seeing more and more.  And more will be revealed.

arn131arn,

Be careful and do not be caught off guard!

Just like real fog in Mother Nature, the FOG in a BPD aftermath comes and goes. Just because one day is relatively sunny and clear, doesn't mean the next afternoon may not be FOG-gy and the visibility will not drop significantly.

Especially when alcohol is involved, the occurrences of the FOG may be even more unpredictable and potentially damaging to a non who is in healing.

Fortify yourself, your awareness and your coping skills against the FOG. Read as much as you can on the condition, keep a journal, record and reflect on your entries. And keep posting and sharing on this board! Draw strength from people who have been through similar trauma as yourself. 

 

[arn131arn]

thanks, soldier.

I need to keep a small journal in my back pocket.  I was working this morning, and during the shift, I remembered something.  Had a moment of clarity, that almost knocked me to my knees.  It was fleeting and I lost the memory later

[myself]

Just like real fog in Mother Nature, the FOG in a BPD aftermath comes and goes. Just because one day is relatively sunny and clear, doesn't mean the next afternoon may not be FOG-gy and the visibility will not drop significantly.

This is why the image of a rollercoaster is such a prevalent description. The ups and downs, change in speeds, the sickening feeling in your stomach as your fears are churned. It's a process to get through. Each time you see things more clearly, you'll be closer to where you're going. Grieving is what you're going through, and it takes time.

What got me to open my eyes? Being abused, and asking myself why.