She is in total denial... please help

[Depression = 72% of members]

She says that she wants out yet threatens that if I leave, she’ll file for divorce and milked for child support and I’ll never be able to see my kids again. And the next day she calls me to ask if we have plans for NYE? (asks in a passive way, “is there something going on on Tuesday and Wednesday?” Last night she told me that I can’t not sleep in our bedroom and today she is wondering if we are doing something on NYE?

Last time she asked me to sleep on the couch, I did it and the next day I told her that I live in that house and that I deserve to sleep in my bed and if I am unable to sleep in my bed, I’ll go to my parents. Her response to that was that even if I go to my parents, I would be sleep on the couch…. I so tired today because I couldn’t really sleep on the couch last night. I need advice please….

[bpdsupport]

She says that she wants out yet threatens that if I leave, she’ll file for divorce and milked for child support and I’ll never be able to see my kids again. And the next day she calls me to ask if we have plans for NYE? (asks in a passive way, “is there something going on on Tuesday and Wednesday?” Last night she told me that I can’t not sleep in our bedroom and today she is wondering if we are doing something on NYE?

Last time she asked me to sleep on the couch, I did it and the next day I told her that I live in that house and that I deserve to sleep in my bed and if I am unable to sleep in my bed, I’ll go to my parents. Her response to that was that even if I go to my parents, I would be sleep on the couch…. I so tired today because I couldn’t really sleep on the couch last night. I need advice please….

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[FigureIt]

I'm not sure I can offer much help other than to say I understand. I have left the bedroom during an argue meant to sleep on the couch and didn't sleep well either. Now I try with all my might not to engage or take the bait when he is trying to provoke me.  I have decided it is my bedroom and I will sleep in my bed and not cause my body undue suffering. 

Also, I don't recommend leaving the premises. Not sure how it works where you are but here if you leave the residence and leave your children behind it can be used against you as abandonement in a divorce.

I can say too that I have encountered the "we're done one night & the next day no I'll never leave you" roller coaster. I'm not sure what to tell you other than don't take it personally. Yet I know how easy that is to say and how very hard to do. (Read my last post). Good luck and best wishes! Know you are not alone in your experiences

[bpdsupport]

Thank you for the tips, YCul. I didn't know about that. Knowing her, even if she kicks me out, she can probably use that against me. Good to know still that even if I leave, I 'll make sure to come back soon after she is calm so this can't be used against me. I am learning new things everyday. Thank you for your support... .