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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
The day has arrived
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Topic: The day has arrived (Read 626 times)
magichat101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 38
The day has arrived
«
on:
January 19, 2014, 02:30:32 PM »
So last night at around 1:30 am I received about 6 calls from my exBdGf. I have not spoken to her in 6 months. Anyways I was out and obviously did not want to answer and she left a voicemail saying " I know this might be inappropriate but this is my way of reaching out, I hope you're doing well, please call me". Didn't really think anything of it, thought she was just drinking. So I go to bed and wake up at 10 am with 5 more missed calls from her and another voicemail, and it says " fine I understand, I will never call you again!". 10 minutes later she called me on skype... .
I am in a hard place because logically I know I should not respond but it's very hard. I thought about being honest with her and just saying, listen you break my heart every time, kind of a thing. But then I thought that will just open it up to my communication so I thought the best thing is to not respond... .
My fear is, is that if I don't respond then she will be mad at me and never communicate with me... .
I'm so conflicted and confused... . Help me... .
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Perfidy
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #1 on:
January 19, 2014, 02:46:25 PM »
The magic question. What do you want?
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fromheeltoheal
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Broken up, I left her
Posts: 5642
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #2 on:
January 19, 2014, 02:48:27 PM »
Yep, that's pretty confused. Time to make a decision, a real one. If you want to be with her, knowing everything you know, then go there. If not, don't. If all those calls are bothering you, send a text something like "please do not contact me again", that's it.
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love4meNOTu
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 529
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #3 on:
January 19, 2014, 02:54:30 PM »
My guess would be she is reaching out because she needs something. Validation, that she still has a hold over you, needs "something".
Are you prepared to give her those things?
I don't know what I would do in your situation, I don't know if I could open the door again. There is so much pain I know my relationship could not be resurrected.
L
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In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
myself
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 3151
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #4 on:
January 19, 2014, 03:00:46 PM »
Quote from: magichat101 on January 19, 2014, 02:30:32 PM
I thought the best thing is to not respond... .
My fear is, is that if I don't respond then she will be mad at me and never communicate with me... .
Why open yourself to more pain?
If she stops contacting you, you'll heal faster.
That sounds like a blessing without much disguise.
If you're done, you're done. Keep moving forward.
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State85
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 304
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #5 on:
January 19, 2014, 03:03:40 PM »
Don't give her the power. You're worried she'll get mad and never contact you again? Really. Your post says she said fine I'll never contact you again, and then she did.
C'mon man! She will. Don't fall for this crap... . unless you want to be in it again... .
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Monarch Butterfly
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 124
Re: The day has arrived
«
Reply #6 on:
January 19, 2014, 06:49:35 PM »
Why are you afraid that she will never contact you again? What do you still hold on to?
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