3.5 weeks sober and finally dealing with reality

[ATLandon]

Hey folks. I am three and a half weeks sober from alcohol. I'm on SoberRecovery.com and made a post about emotions hitting me hard regarding my wife's uBPD. A member suggested for me to post on here. So, here I am. I've made a few posts already in the past but the ball game is different now with long term sobriety on my horizon. It took me a long time to realize I was crawling inside a bottle to cope with my BPDw. In fact I was feeling really good about our relationship until I got sober. Now all I want is to be as far away from her as possible. And all things considered she had been acting really well. I have just been flooded with a metric hit ton of bad old memories I had long pushed to the recesses of my mind. I'm in a lot of emotional pain these days and haven't really talked to anyone about it. Just wanted to get that off my chest here. Anyone else got sober with their BPD? Take care all.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Totally understand this, dealing with a pwBPD can drive you to medicate with alcohol, nearly went down that path myself.

Recovering from alcohol is hard and does in a way take a born again approach to life to maintain. The BPD is part of the old and it is understandable you want to flush that out with the old you.

[an0ught]

Hi ATLandon,

these are after some time often dysfunctional relationships and not just a relationship with a dysfunctional person. Stopping our own dysfunction and coming to terms with the damage we have done is one of the more painful steps in the healing process.

Welcome back,

a0

[ATLandon]

Hi ATLandon,

these are after some time often dysfunctional relationships and not just a relationship with a dysfunctional person.

You hit the nail on the head with that statement, an0ught! I never truly wanted to take much accountability for the dysfunction I brought to the table but I see it little by little as each new day passes.