I am separated from my Bpd wife and have basically gone NC... . going on 1 month now
I'm not sure why this triggers me but I have received 2 emails since (I have her blocked on social media, text and phone) ... . both of them basically abstract statements about filing taxes.
I remember the tax time when going through a divorce and I remember being frustrated too... . unfortunately, right now, you will have to deal with this. What I found worked best was to be proactive in setting the agenda/expectations.
I just hate the fact that she thinks she can just expect me to answer her...
I guess I don't know why this bothers me... .
Is it just the curt ness of it?
It is probably everything, I don't know about you - but I didn't get married to end in divorce... . all of the BS that led to this point, dealing with anything felt like a punch in the stomach.
We were together for 4 years, married for 2... . No children between us... . no shared home
I'm wondering why I'm so triggered
I guess I will have to expect this until we are finally divorced
yeah, the entire process is triggering. I found it hard to accept the time wasted, etc... . pushes buttons in us all. Be kind to you.
The last few times we broke up/recycled she had no real replacement... . this time she cheated before she left me so obviously she's not suffering AS MUCH so she just shoots out these random emails and expects an answer ASAP
Sorry. Just venting... . and so trying to work through this!
Anyone been here before with this?
Entitlement is standard BPD procedure in the divorce process - as much as it sucks, try not to take it personally (yes, I do know way harder to do).
Boundaries, communication style - both can help your divorce process be smoother - definitely vent here as needed. If I were in your shoes (and I was a few years ago), write out a clear email with clear expectations - nothing personal - post it here if you want review - and send it to her; then you don't have to deal with any other emails and you can simply do your part. One thing that helps is to give her the illusion of control - like talking to a 3 year old... . what works best A or B statements.
The other option is to let your attorney handle it all - that can be costly $
Hang in there,
SB
