Switching from angry to nothing is wrong way to fast.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I don't know what is worse when BPD goes from happy to angry or form angry to nothigns wrong. Sure  the first is unpleasant as can be. But the angry to everything is ok can really mess with your head. I am still upset inside and need time to calm down.

So another question that came up this weekend. I am told that I need be romantic on Valentines Day to her. She expects romance so nice it makes her cry. The other night she said tell me soemthing nice that makes me feel so good I cry. Nothing like being put onthe spot.

[Cipher13]

I don't know what is worse when BPD goes from happy to angry or form angry to nothigns wrong. Sure  the first is unpleasant as can be. But the angry to everything is ok can really mess with your head. I am still upset inside and need time to calm down.

So another question that came up this weekend. I am told that I need be romantic on Valentines Day to her. She expects romance so nice it makes her cry. The other night she said tell me soemthing nice that makes me feel so good I cry. Nothing like being put onthe spot.

[Waddams]

Trying to think of a good sarcastic come back to requests like those but I'm not as quick-witted as I usually am today. 

On a serious note, I can't help thinking I might respond with a statement back that she can try to come up with something loving to say to you that makes you cry too.  Same for Valentine's Day.  Where are her loving behaviors towards you?  Or does she not have to return any love and instead just be the adored center of attention up on her pedestal?

Sorry, feeling especially grumpy today I guess. 

[hergestridge]

I don't know what is worse when BPD goes from happy to angry or form angry to nothigns wrong. Sure  the first is unpleasant as can be. But the angry to everything is ok can really mess with your head. I am still upset inside and need time to calm down.

You need time to calm down, but your partner can't wait. So basically it looks like you're bullying you partner because of your inability to emotionally turn on a dime. At least that's what it's like for me. Makes you want to emigrate to Uruguay and never return.

[Somewhere]

You follow what is going on, right?

The Persona flips -- about like a "light switch," right?

She is Emotionally Dysregulating and flips to a different persona to try to match the Emotions begin generated in the messed portions of her brain.  Has little to nothing to do with you at all.

As far as "Make Valentines This or That."  She is trying to direct you to control her Emotional State -- as she cannot.

Eventually you will "fail" her in that regard, and then things start going WAY Downhill.

Try to enjoy the roller coaster ride until you get off it. 

[Cipher13]

Where are her loving behaviors towards you?  Or does she not have to return any love and instead just be the adored center of attention up on her pedestal?

She is always telling my you get what you give. So I do not get anything since she thinks she does not get the loving emotions from me. I have tried to same the same back but she tells em that is rude and mean to say. Oh the fun.

Try to enjoy the roller coaster ride until you get off it. 

So what do you do when you are on this roller coaster and can't get off the ride becauseit won't stop where you can. JUMP! right? thats pretty close to how it feels... . She is being just nice enough that it makes me not think about te negative as much. Yet she still gets in her diggs. Today she picked me up for lunch. We had a nice time. We don't get to do that hardly ever. After she dropped me off and hour goes by and I sent a text telling her I had fun and enjoyed being with her. She says I still think you are doing it with someone at work. I brushed off the comment she made while at lunch asking me if my girlfriend ther will get mad that I am at lunch with my wife.   Ugh!

[Waddams]

She is always telling my you get what you give. So I do not get anything since she thinks she does not get the loving emotions from me. I have tried to same the same back but she tells em that is rude and mean to say. Oh the fun.

Of course she doesn't acknowledge anything you do as loving.  She has to tear it all down.  Otherwise she'd have to reciprocate according to her own statements of how things should be.  This way, she doesn't have to actually do anything.  Just sit on her pedestal and be adored.

[popeye6031]

So what do you do when you are on this roller coaster and can't get off the ride becauseit won't stop where you can. JUMP! right? thats pretty close to how it feels... . She is being just nice enough that it makes me not think about te negative as much. Yet she still gets in her diggs. Today she picked me up for lunch. We had a nice time. We don't get to do that hardly ever. After she dropped me off and hour goes by and I sent a text telling her I had fun and enjoyed being with her. She says I still think you are doing it with someone at work. I brushed off the comment she made while at lunch asking me if my girlfriend ther will get mad that I am at lunch with my wife.   Ugh!

Oh man!  This rings such a bell in the last few weeks.  :)unno how many times I have been accused of being with someone.  Like yourself, I just ignore the comments and try not engage.   Though it does not work most of the time.  Good luck with coming up with something super romantic and hope you get a few days of peace after it.