Things I so want to freak about...

[Depression = 72% of members]

The mother of my lovely little DIL, after son and grandson and Dil's week-long visit, on baby boy's 1st birthday, the other grandma posts under her daughter's pic of the little family - "... . and so happy to know they are all mine."



My lovely daughter, almost 25, coming by with my other grandchild, this funny spunky little spitfire so like her mother at age 1 (babies are only 2 wks apart)... . and I say, "oh wow, look how big she is, her seat's facing front!" and meant it as the last time I saw her she was still in a carry carseat, you know with a base etc... .

My poor daughter bursts into tears and starts APOLOGIZING that the daddy my son-in-law is insisting they turn Baboo facing front he wont' compromise on 18 months etc... .

So I totally stepped in it unknowingly (seriously, meant that it was great seeing her facing front 'cause she is so big and even had let her mommy put a clip in her hair )... .

Between my son's MIL and my own SIL... .

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... .

Want to ask my son's MIL... . "they BELONG to you? how so?" yet this aligns with how my son has described her setting up her own daughter over the years, saying mean things and then, "Gosh you can't take a joke can you?" in front of this big family group they're always in... .

Want to YELL at my SIL... . "My little girl works five days a week to pay your bills, you little stinker, and you will not compromise on how long her little dreamy angel simply faces the back in her carseat?" she's only asking until 18 months as baby girl is over legal weight req.

he has wrecked 2 motorcycles in past year... . after agreeing that baby's birth would be end of his motorcyle days... .

poor little daughter of mine rear-ended a driver last Oct and pushed THAT car into oncoming BMW... . all drivers walked away but she's just now getting her sea legs back so to speak driving on even good days... .

Y'all hear me screamin' out there?

Yet both situations are where I have to zip my lip or alienate my son and/or daughter.

Radar had quivered over the last few years (son married 4 yrs  Feb 20th and daughter married 2 yrs past Oct) with both these folks... .

Ironically, my son's MIL is daughter of the sweetest funniest most humble little elegant woman I got to meet over the long wedding weekend four years ago... . the woman has sent lovely cards to say hello, etc... . her daughter? NOT ONE WORD since my thank you notes about lovely wedding and the birth of our (mutual, is that how you'd say it) grandson.

Facebook sucks because you read this type of inanity (not insanity, inanity), and you want to literally puke.

I limit any of my "likes" on my DIL's pix of grandson because this other woman kicks into high gear... . it's like unleashing a monster.

I mean... . this adorable funny sweet little boy and we know they spend entire months with you (my son is on military so during deployments they live with her parents, totally totally makes sense)... . but you gotta mark your territory eh?

Mark away. I've met your type before.

I think my SIL is young and believes he's got to speak out against what he sees as "someone telling me how to be a dad" but the laws of physics in regards to this baby girl's body and neck and head during an accident  - um... . physics could really give a damn... . nothing personal but it's how gravity works.

My daughter said with new tears this morning before they left... . "I'd never forgive myself if she was injured."

To cause my sweet girl this type of hurt and she is trying to be obedient little wifey... .

Just needed to vent in safe place.

thank you all... .

[lucyhoneychurch]

The mother of my lovely little DIL, after son and grandson and Dil's week-long visit, on baby boy's 1st birthday, the other grandma posts under her daughter's pic of the little family - "... . and so happy to know they are all mine."



My lovely daughter, almost 25, coming by with my other grandchild, this funny spunky little spitfire so like her mother at age 1 (babies are only 2 wks apart)... . and I say, "oh wow, look how big she is, her seat's facing front!" and meant it as the last time I saw her she was still in a carry carseat, you know with a base etc... .

My poor daughter bursts into tears and starts APOLOGIZING that the daddy my son-in-law is insisting they turn Baboo facing front he wont' compromise on 18 months etc... .

So I totally stepped in it unknowingly (seriously, meant that it was great seeing her facing front 'cause she is so big and even had let her mommy put a clip in her hair )... .

Between my son's MIL and my own SIL... .

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... .

Want to ask my son's MIL... . "they BELONG to you? how so?" yet this aligns with how my son has described her setting up her own daughter over the years, saying mean things and then, "Gosh you can't take a joke can you?" in front of this big family group they're always in... .

Want to YELL at my SIL... . "My little girl works five days a week to pay your bills, you little stinker, and you will not compromise on how long her little dreamy angel simply faces the back in her carseat?" she's only asking until 18 months as baby girl is over legal weight req.

he has wrecked 2 motorcycles in past year... . after agreeing that baby's birth would be end of his motorcyle days... .

poor little daughter of mine rear-ended a driver last Oct and pushed THAT car into oncoming BMW... . all drivers walked away but she's just now getting her sea legs back so to speak driving on even good days... .

Y'all hear me screamin' out there?

Yet both situations are where I have to zip my lip or alienate my son and/or daughter.

Radar had quivered over the last few years (son married 4 yrs  Feb 20th and daughter married 2 yrs past Oct) with both these folks... .

Ironically, my son's MIL is daughter of the sweetest funniest most humble little elegant woman I got to meet over the long wedding weekend four years ago... . the woman has sent lovely cards to say hello, etc... . her daughter? NOT ONE WORD since my thank you notes about lovely wedding and the birth of our (mutual, is that how you'd say it) grandson.

Facebook sucks because you read this type of inanity (not insanity, inanity), and you want to literally puke.

I limit any of my "likes" on my DIL's pix of grandson because this other woman kicks into high gear... . it's like unleashing a monster.

I mean... . this adorable funny sweet little boy and we know they spend entire months with you (my son is on military so during deployments they live with her parents, totally totally makes sense)... . but you gotta mark your territory eh?

Mark away. I've met your type before.

I think my SIL is young and believes he's got to speak out against what he sees as "someone telling me how to be a dad" but the laws of physics in regards to this baby girl's body and neck and head during an accident  - um... . physics could really give a damn... . nothing personal but it's how gravity works.

My daughter said with new tears this morning before they left... . "I'd never forgive myself if she was injured."

To cause my sweet girl this type of hurt and she is trying to be obedient little wifey... .

Just needed to vent in safe place.

thank you all... .

[StarStruck]

 

[Sitara]

I don't really know what to say. Sorry to hear your daughter is having troubles. 

[lucyhoneychurch]

Thank you - hugs appreciated so very much.

I breathed easier leaving all that here and having my weekend.   

[lucyhoneychurch]

My daughter has a baby blog as does my sweet little DIL... . I was so so glad to read that my daughter's sort of gotten the wind in her sails again - she is getting up early each morning to do Jillian Michaels' workout dvd (but then I worry she isn't eating well enough to support such vigorous exercise, ready to fly off into that fear)... and she's running before waking Baboo to get ready for working all day... . BUT the good part was she sounded feisty, she sounded even a little miffed, which for this very private young lady is a good thing - she doesn't holler when she's pushed to the wall.

She said, "I'm proud of me. I do this and this and this" [keeping her thoughts private sorry for just paraphrasing] and I was so so happy to see her saying, HEY I am doing a damned good job I have no reason to want to be anyone else or have anyone else's life!

Wow did that do my mother's heart alot of good.

I drove past my SIL holding little Baboo the other day, beeped, stopped, put down the window, he was walking with her in a parking lot... . and he just looked away. I was like OKAY you just demonstrated really really bad manners bucko... . but it won't kill me .

He is the youngest of five, my daughter worships the ground he walks on, he seems to be good enough to her and totally adores his/their baby girl. So what if he's rude? He'll either grow out of it (he is almost 2 yrs younger than my daughter) or not... . and I've been "ruded" at before by worse than him .

So time helped my initial worries in my first post... . quite a bit.

My son and his wife and their little dreamy baby boy are going to have to move after only a year in their present locale due to military assignment. This will put them only about 3 hrs away rather than 9... . so I will be able to see their Baboo too, since only saw him last April to hold him and kiss him.

I will make sure I leave all signs semaphores up  that the other grandma remains in sole possession... . it's fine with me, as she is also the one who has driven days at a time to go get her daughter and little Boy Baboo when my son has been deployed. She's earned it is what I mean. My health issues keep me very much here in town.

I don't care who they "belong" to as long as I can know they are safe and well.

Please indulge my momentary lapse  where I ranted.

Reality reminds me... . it's okay. 

[Legacymaker]

Love to read your "growth"!

Glad your heart is feeling a sense of peace.

[lucyhoneychurch]

Just saw my son's schedule for deployment where he will be over the next few months... . when I saw that the only near location (only 2 hrs away) is exactly where all of them will converge, and it's only for a 48-hr period -

6 months away and I am in a cold sweat thinking, I have to see him but my god how the hell will I avoid them taking that whole weekend?  :'(

I am in a panic about something that has not happened yet, schedules are subject to change, and it is so so like the way I used to live nonstop it scared the hell out of me.

He is awesome enough to read between the lines if I say, "Hey yes can't wait to see you I will be able to come down on Saturday afternoon," he will keep Sat afternoon free for me and me alone.

Then I don't give a damn who else monopolizes his time... .

But oh wow the flood of shock that I might have to compete to see my own son -

that I might be kept out of the loop while they are in it, enjoying his company - when in fact the last time they showed up and even brought uninvited (by him) 3rd parties, he totally didn't appreciate it at all.

He doesn't LIKE them but he is civil to them.

I have to remember not to equate his being civil to them and in contact as any kind of judgement against me in his head because I have nothing to do with them. Never will again.

My late mother's ability to still make the dark waters swirl and almost suck me in, it's just crazy.  Literally crazy. I have nightmares still (this week) that I am constantly driving and water is coming in a car where I've driven off of something I couldn't see because everything is flooded and dark and I choke awake trying not to drown.

She doesn't exist anymore, but the awful things she set in motion inside of me are still alive and still hurt me. I know if I take my power back during the waking hours, my sleep improves. But it's going to be a lifelong effort.

I feel comfortable saying, I loathe them.  I detest them. Hate them if forced to really spit it out.

I'm okay hating loathing detesting them. It makes other people squirm if you say that. I'm not out to comfort other people anymore.

I think it clears the decks when I am honest about their impact in my life.

I can move forward today if I am really honest about my feelings for what they did  to me.

I cleared my entire drive yesterday, loved the motion, loved throwing snow to the side, loved looking back at the *clear* path widened and passable again.

That is what leaving my words here for you to read does for me - I am scraping away the detritus and the scum and the scabs fall away and it's new again.

thank you 

[StarStruck]

Hi  

Firstly don't even try to imagine or think about the dark side spending company with him. The only thing in the world for your relationship is him and you. Keep the faith that he wants the same as you, like you say he can make arrangements and read in between the lines. Loosely keeping in mind that schedules change like you said too, so don't concentrate too much on the dates.

Yes - hate, detest, repulse, evil & not forgiving = all allowed here. YIPPEE! (Lovely ladies are allowed to think like that you know)

Whenever stage you're at and whatever brings on all that old crap it will continue to get easier to deal with & you WILL find better solutions. Let a thought sit like a little bird in your palm, looking at the bird but then as it would, let it fly away & keep practicing.