I've figured out his game. He's like a damsel in distress, man-style. I keep seeing his desperate posts about needing a woman to steal him away, sleeping in a woman's bed but missing his ex, being single, wanting to slit his throat because he's broken, and finally, saying he hopes death finds him tonight.
IT IS RIDICULOUS. It actually makes the pain of the fact that he could never trust me enough to get close to me - BECAUSE I TREATED HIM GOOD AND ACTUALLY LOVED HIM - much more bearable. I see the disorder and how horrible his life must be.
I'm also - through reading - beginning to understand why he would never get close to me. A pwBPD's sexuality is one of the main ways they express themselves in their stunted emotional state and is the ultimate form of control. I set a boundary early on and told him no.
In the end, he point-blank asked me - after all the times he would tell me he wanted to come over but shouldn't because he's very persuasive and can't control himself - if he could have sex with me. I told him no, and that I needed his heart in return before I would connect with him on that level. His response? "That's impossible, I have no heart."
I think he told me we'd never be anything because he tried a second time to get me to have sex with him - and exert enough control to where he felt more trusting of me - and I denied him. Then, he decided to cut me out when I got upset at this "good, good friends" contract he was offering me.
It just shows me what I meant to him. The damsel in distress is on to a more controllable object. It kind of makes me feel better that I might have a shred of self-respect, after an abusive mother, psychopathic ex, and this pwBPD.
I'm the ONE friend he's never dated. I kinda like that title. It's probably why he bashed my religion of Christianity... . my moral convictions stunted his control over me. Ha!
That's one thing to smile about.
