Hard day today

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Man , I was good yesterday ... Felt alive ... Worked

Out at the gym for 1.5 hrs ... Watched walking dead on the dvr ... No problems what so ever ... I woke up this morning drenched in sweat ... I was what the heck ... Then all day today I was thinking about her ... Started crying just driving ... I started the same bs with the "why would she do that to me " , "thought I was special " I mean the whole pity party thing ... Even after the cheating and bs that she did ... It's been 2 weeks NC and I had this strange desire for her to call ... Playing fantasy hit in my head ... I know the mistrust , lies and BS but the feelin of "heart broke " doesn't escape me ... I am trying to make it day to day

[Fool for Love]

Man , I was good yesterday ... Felt alive ... Worked

Out at the gym for 1.5 hrs ... Watched walking dead on the dvr ... No problems what so ever ... I woke up this morning drenched in sweat ... I was what the heck ... Then all day today I was thinking about her ... Started crying just driving ... I started the same bs with the "why would she do that to me " , "thought I was special " I mean the whole pity party thing ... Even after the cheating and bs that she did ... It's been 2 weeks NC and I had this strange desire for her to call ... Playing fantasy hit in my head ... I know the mistrust , lies and BS but the feelin of "heart broke " doesn't escape me ... I am trying to make it day to day

[seeking balance]

Part of the process - 2 weeks is really not that long at all.

Today would be a great day to work out again - try to push that energy around a bit.

Hang in there - it really won't be like this forever. 

Peace,

SB

[Tausk]

Hey there FFLove:  I'm so sorry for your pain. I went through my own process. We all have it on this side.  It sucks.  It hurts deep down.  I've been doubled up in pain on the floor, howling so badly that the dogs howled with me in pain.

And it's worse because there's nothing on the other side with our exes that make sense.  Why do we still care.  How could be still want the interaction after so much betrayal and abuse.  Will the pain ever end.  I don't know how I'm going to survive.  And she doesn't even care right now... .

It's all there. We have all gone through the pain, confusion, fear, cold dark void... .

Hang in there moment by moment.  Be Safe.  Remember HALT, don't get to Hungry, Anger, Lonely or Tired.

Try and respond to the pain and anger in productive ways.  Not impulsively but rather in a thought-out mindful manner.  And working out is a great response.  If nothing else we might as well get into shape and workout until we can't obsess so much.

And keep on the board,  Keep sharing.  Keep venting.

Do you have children together? Are you living together?

You're not alone.  We're separated by distance, but connected through experience.  We do recover.

[Fool for Love]

No children together or lived together . We had a 3 yr relationship but other things prevented us from being together like that ... I don know I had a rude awaking today . Dumb ___ me looked at her twitter today ... It's amazing the hurt she throws out there ... Pictures with "the love of my life " I mean ... What normal person goes from 3 weeks ago saying I love you so much to that ? It opened my eyes today ... She really does have problems ... She always said I was the love of her life ... Now 3 weeks later he is the love of her life ... Just sick! It didn't hurt ... It just confirms ... .