He is telling people I don't like them and trying to cause conflict

[letmeout]

I'm starting to get pretty upset. Two years out and No Contact with my BPDex but he is still on a smear champagne. What the heck?

The latest is that he has been telling everyone that he runs into that I do not like them, never liked them and I always bashed them behind their backs. I have been getting calls from family and friends with hurt feelings asking me why I would do that to them.

I try to explain about it being either projecting on his part or still seeking revenge that I escaped his abuse. Some believe and are relieved, some don't know what to think, and since he is so darn convincing, some are buying into his stories.

Does anyone have any idea how to get a smear campaign to end? All I can say is run from these Freaks of Nature as soon as you find out what they are!

It becomes a never-ending odyssey of absolute insanity.

[Surnia]

This is a tough situation - I can relate you are exhausted and yarning that all this would stop. 2 years are quite some time... .

Do I get this right, you didn't contact him 2 years. What about him? Is or was he trying to make contact? If yes, its possible that you are dealing with stalking behavior.

[letmeout]

I never considered that he might be still smearing me to try to make me contact him, even if it just to ask him to stop the smear campaign. I also never thought about this as a stalking issue; he had a history of stalking me even before I left him though.

I have seen him twice in the last 2 yrs; when he popped into my brother's memorial service and cursed out my sister-in-law, and once when he showed up at our  grandson's 6th birthday party. Both times I ignored him and didn't go near him.

Maybe he is trying to get my attention, but I don't want to be anywhere near him.

Sorry about calling BPD sufferers Freaks of Nature. I just wish he would get off this  mission to haunt me for the rest of my life.

[blissful_camper]

Perhaps he's doing this to isolate you, hoping your loved ones will turn against you.  He knows you'll hear about it, and you have.  Maybe he's trying to get a reaction.  It might be time to start a paper trail, if you haven't already.  

[letmeout]

He always tried to isolate me from family and friends when we were married, so maybe he is just still doing that from habit. The only thing I can do is live my life to the best of my ability and ignore his exploding bombs. What else is there to do... .

I will keep a paper trail just in case I have to get the law involved someday.

[HealingForMe]

I'm very sorry he is doing this to you & your friends, esp 2yrs out 

My exBPDgf is on a smear campaign too & has everyone of her friends/family totally convinced I am pure evil.

I would become pro-active & call all your friends family to warn them they may get a call from him & what he is doing & to totally disregard anything he says. Warn them that he is very convincing!

Good luck, I hope things smooth out for you

[nona]

I am 3 years out of 10 year dysf. marriage.

We have to communicate over child, e mail only.

I am enduring a terrible , successful alienation/ostracization/ smear campaign.

How far and long this just goes on and on, and I cannot get away with shared custody.

Its too late for me to be PRO active, but talk to me about this paper trail.

I have boxes of print , and pages of email documentng this.

who really cares

where do I take it?

it seems only really good for me to remind me how crazy they are.

nobody else wants to hear about this much crazy.

they project it on me/us.

I would love to hear a successful story of how someone uses this "documentation".

I hope everything goes your way , LETMEOUT, and this person drops away. as it looks like you share no child with them .Run Run.

[letmeout]

I am very fortunate that I got out after my kids were grown, or my BPDex would have totally alienated them from me.

We have 5grandchildren and he trashes me to them too. Their daddy's have explained to them that grandpa isn't always in his right mind, and not to buy into his delusions.

Thats very hard to ignore with a BPD person, because they run off at the mouth constantly trying to convince (brainwash) people into what they want them to believe.

You should look into a national group called Parents Against Parental Alienation who are getting laws passed to stop ex spouses from brainwashing their children against the other parent.  Its an uphill battle, but they have some resources you might use.

My paper trail didn't do me any good in my divorce, he got the lion's share of  of our 35 years worth of assets through legal loopholes, lies and manipulation. I am going to document his actions since then in case I ever turn up missing, the police will have a good suspect.  Its about all I can do.