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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits. Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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Author Topic: My ExHPD/NPDGF just broke NC and sent me this. Advice?  (Read 491 times)
cheaptrick
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 167



« on: March 19, 2014, 07:44:21 PM »

I went strictly no contact after me now ex HPDgf blasted me, unfriended me and blocked me on FB. My busyness is on the same exact street as hers and she must have seen me drive by, but I didn't go near her store. She must have seen me done the street. I am posting this email I got, so that you may see if I am tracking correctly and if you can give me some advice.

She wrote after two weeks of NC.

"While I have thoughts about what happened between us….that isn’t the reason for my email. I hope you are doing well. It has been very difficult to “cut” our friendship loose and move on over the last two weeks. My thinking is that it is for the best and I appreciate your distancing yourself.

(ME) Again, she thinks I am doing this FOR HER?


You ARE a wonderful man and I know you will have a happy life filled with fun. Your ability to connect and care for a woman is beyond what is out there in the world. Your boyish charm has always melted my heart and brings you to a level of sweetness and kindness that people (women) swoon over. Bringing your body into a place of health and endurance will only make you feel better and enhance your life. You are the total package and deserving of so much love in this life. Whom ever you end up with will undoubtedly be one truly lucky girl. (ME) HPD? I AINT THAT GREAT!


I didn’t want the traumatic ending of our relationship to cloud over my true thoughts and feelings for you. My words were hurtful and I am sorry. The intensity between us is so volatile, which is why one should not fall in love with a man like you  This email isn’t a lure to get back into your life, as I am not interested you at this time of my life. At that time that I am, it is up to you whether you want another go of life with S.

(ME) Goes into 3rd person? who does that?


This email needs no response. I simply felt the need to apologize for hurtful words and try and replace them with the truth. You are a handsome, talented, caring man.

wishing you happiness always. S


She has been diagnosed NBD/HPD. Advice? WTH? She is 50 years old.
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GreenMango
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 4326



« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2014, 08:00:33 PM »

Well I'm not sure that needs much of a response back.  It sounds like she's wishing you well and a goodbye (and musing).  It seems kind of rhetorical.

I wouldn't want get these anymore.  Getting broken with once is probably enough. 

What are you thinking?

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barbwire911
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 75



« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2014, 08:07:02 PM »

I do not have a PD but I think she is "fishing"... . trying to see if she gets a response back from you and sussing out how you feel.  I think she might be trying to suss you out for recycle potential, now or maybe later as she says some really nice things in there (but then she also talks in opposites to some extent which is normal I find for those with BPD and other PD).

Usually whatever they say I usually see the opposite... . so she says no response needed... . well maybe it means she wants a response. They are a confusing sort these people with PD but I think she is sussing you out and seeing if there may be a door open still for recycle attempts... .
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Louise7777
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Posts: 515



« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2014, 08:29:26 PM »

"This email isn’t a lure to get back into your life, as I am not interested you at this time of my life. At that time that I am, it is up to you whether you want another go of life with S."

This is EXACTLY what it is: a lure, a bait. And she definetly wants a response. HPDs/ NPDs crave attention.

Honestly, Im only surprised at her age, from her words Id assume she was a teenager. But my uHPDs seem to have never left puberty/ teenage years anyway.
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