new to the board

[Aknight]

Geez, where do I begin?

I am mom to a 21-year old newly diagnosed BPD daughter.  I live with her, her husband, her 2-year old daughter, and my son.  I have a degree in Education, and at age 4, I knew there was going to be a problem.  First grade, she'd write her name on her papers, turn it over, draw a picture, and turn it in.  ADHD was the first diagnosis.  Over the years, she kept that diagnosis until her teen years.  They began adding in things like "ODD" and some would even touch on "bipolar".  Numerous medications and nothing ever really helped for very long.  Running away, being arrested, drugs, drugs, drugs.  No consequences phase her.  It has been a roller coaster ride, one that caused a divorce in our family and my staying single for 14 years since.  No one else can deal with the drama for long.

Now, I live with them to care for the grandbaby, and pretty much everyone.  Most recently, she was taking only Cymbalta and went into what I thought was a manic phase.  In a matter of a few weeks, she disappeared for days in our only car, causing her ARMY husband to be late to duty numerous times (resulting in serious disciplinary action), had several affairs, lots of drugs, just serious self-destructive behavior.  She created a drama incident and called 911, causing my son-in-law's sargeants to separate them for 3 days, no contact.  The 2nd day I walked in her bathroom and caught her cutting her leg.  I called 911, she went to the psych hospital for 7 days and came out with the diagnosis of BPD, along with panic disorder and agoraphobia.  Remembering back to my CPS days of working with clients with BPD, I was heartbroken.  But as I refreshed my knowledge of it, it fits - perfectly.

Now, here we live, on a floor of eggshells, never knowing from one minute to the next what will happen.  I do have to say that since she is now on Abilify and Cymbalta, her explosions are fewer and with less degree.  I just don't know where to go as far as therapy wise.  We are rural and there are no options here for therapy.  I would love to research and do it myself with her, and even looked into DBT, but I just don't see that program fitting her.  I'm open to any and all suggestions and ideas.  Anything to keep her safe, as well as all of us... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[jellibeans]

Dear Aknight

I have finally found your intro post... . I have been reading your post on the parenting board. I am glad you have found your way there. It is a good group that can offer advise and support. I am sorry to read of your struggles with your dd21. Have you been able to get a DX? Do you think she has a drug problem presently?

You are lucky to have the background and knowledge about this disorder. What would you say is your biggest struggles with your dd right now? Hang in there and keep posting... . we are here for you