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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Sporting events - Need advice.  (Read 512 times)
Deep Impact

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 21


« on: April 20, 2014, 10:32:22 PM »

I just have a question in regards to sporting events.

I play football, I am going to start bringing my son to my games every second weekend.

But... I know as soon as I start taking him, that his BPD Mum will start coming to the footy that other weekend.

She'll ruin my life again by telling everyone how bad of a person I am, etc.

Is there any way I can keep her away from things like sporting events?

If the club agreed to ban her, would any issues arise?

Should I talk to my lawyer or a psych about this?

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Turkish
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: "Divorced"/abandoned by SO in Feb 2014; Mother with BPD, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety: RIP in 2021.
Posts: 12183


Dad to my wolf pack


« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2014, 02:40:57 PM »

I just have a question in regards to sporting events.

I play football, I am going to start bringing my son to my games every second weekend.

But... I know as soon as I start taking him, that his BPD Mum will start coming to the footy that other weekend.

She'll ruin my life again by telling everyone how bad of a person I am, etc.

Is there any way I can keep her away from things like sporting events?

If the club agreed to ban her, would any issues arise?

Should I talk to my lawyer or a psych about this?

Hi DI, I think it's a good idea to run this by the professionals, to get an idea of what healthy boundaries you may be able to put into place without causing too much drama (famous last words... . ). By "that other weekend" do you mean weekends when you are not there?
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    “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” ― Rudyard Kipling
Deep Impact

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 21


« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2014, 01:03:45 PM »

I just have a question in regards to sporting events.

I play football, I am going to start bringing my son to my games every second weekend.

But... I know as soon as I start taking him, that his BPD Mum will start coming to the footy that other weekend.

She'll ruin my life again by telling everyone how bad of a person I am, etc.

Is there any way I can keep her away from things like sporting events?

If the club agreed to ban her, would any issues arise?

Should I talk to my lawyer or a psych about this?

Hi DI, I think it's a good idea to run this by the professionals, to get an idea of what healthy boundaries you may be able to put into place without causing too much drama (famous last words... . ). By "that other weekend" do you mean weekends when you are not there?

Yeah, I mean every second weekend.

Even though Hitler has never gone to a football match, she'd be there with bells on if I played.

But, I shall run it past my psych, see what he says, he might tell me it's a pipe dream.
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