He is trying to make contact

[Depression = 72% of members]

Last week I received another call.  This time there was only some strange noises in the background for about a minute. This was after a call a few days before claiming he did not want contact over and over again.  I feel bad since i was the one that had sent him a "nice" card that confused him he said. So who am I to judge .  He probably wondered if this was an opening on my part. Yesterday he showed up at my work but I had already left. I believe he is in town for the weekend on a conference. He'll be too busy to try another attempt until its over on  Sunday afternoon.  I feel vulnerable.  I am worried that if he tries to contact me again I will give in and see him.  This would be a terrible mistake on my part.  I still miss him. I am having to really focus on being strong this weekend. I may not hear anything more and that will feel bad too and I am self talking and preparing myself for that.  He may show up at some point and I am trying to remind myself about the boundaries I will need so I don't go back to how I felt two months ago . The anxiety and fear is back again.   The last few days I started to feel soo much better too.  Weird how that seems to be a common theme here.

[corraline]

Last week I received another call.  This time there was only some strange noises in the background for about a minute. This was after a call a few days before claiming he did not want contact over and over again.  I feel bad since i was the one that had sent him a "nice" card that confused him he said. So who am I to judge .  He probably wondered if this was an opening on my part. Yesterday he showed up at my work but I had already left. I believe he is in town for the weekend on a conference. He'll be too busy to try another attempt until its over on  Sunday afternoon.  I feel vulnerable.  I am worried that if he tries to contact me again I will give in and see him.  This would be a terrible mistake on my part.  I still miss him. I am having to really focus on being strong this weekend. I may not hear anything more and that will feel bad too and I am self talking and preparing myself for that.  He may show up at some point and I am trying to remind myself about the boundaries I will need so I don't go back to how I felt two months ago . The anxiety and fear is back again.   The last few days I started to feel soo much better too.  Weird how that seems to be a common theme here.

[HappyNihilist]

I swear they know somehow when you're healing.

I would recommend reading back over your posts here; reading the "10 Beliefs"; writing out lists of the good and bad of the r/s; things of that nature. This will help you step back from your emotions and look at the facts of the r/s, and help you focus on why you DON'T need to go back.

You say you don't want to go back to how you felt two months ago. Look at what you're saying. You know that this r/s was unhealthy and toxic for you. You were miserable. You don't want to feel that way again. You've felt so much better over the last few days -- and it will only continue to get better, the more you distance yourself.

The power he has over you is the power you give him. Do whatever you need to do to strip him of that power. 

[seeking balance]

I would recommend reading back over your posts here; reading the "10 Beliefs"; writing out lists of the good and bad of the r/s; things of that nature. This will help you step back from your emotions and look at the facts of the r/s, and help you focus on why you DON'T need to go back.

I could not have said this any better!   

Focus on the FACTS - you are not a victim, nor need you be ruled by your emotions... . stay strong with your boundaries.