Am I becoming codependent to my BPD wife..?

[wilsonian]

Ok this has been really getting to me lately... I ran across something about this subject and it has me wondering since I read it... . Does anyone else out there feel that way?... . Is that what makes me stay through all the raging and hatred... Then also all the TLC and wonderful close times in between the eruptions?... dont know I have always been a pretty independent guy... . How did this happen if I am and does anyone have a clue how I can backtrack out of it>?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tired-of-it-all]

Codependence is a disease like alcoholism.  Likely all of us who are attached to BPD's have it to one degree or another.  My desire to fix people.  My belief that my wife can't make it without me.  My need to be needed by her are all codependent traits.  Many who are married to other troubled people are codependent also.  Those married or paired with people who have a substance abuse problem are many times codependent.

This forum will help.  You have to learn to detach from the behavior and accept the way they are.  That doesn't meant that you have to tolerate abuse or even stay in the relationship.  This is a complex issue.  You did not grow codependent over night and you won't break the addiction over night.  Without help, if you leave this wife you will find another just like her.  It is our nature.