Proper response to uBPDw scheduling appointments for kids

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Generally I don't have anything against concept of my kids doing family therapy.

The email below went to me and my oldest 4 kids.  I would rather this not be handled "in front" of them... . but that is also how wife handles things at home... . tried to play victim in front of them.

My uBPDw main operating mode is to do things with kids where I have no control.  Then act like... . I wish I had known... . oh my gosh... . I hope you don't think I was making you less of a parent.

Right now I have very little authority in my home... . I have chosen this to try to not put kids in the middle.  I may have emoldened her by doing this... . if I need to get more into that... . let me know.

We did talk about it months ago... . I found it incredibly easy to get appointments.  uBPDw would not discuss it any more... . I and didn't pursue it. 

Note how she aired some of her grievances.

I would like to get a response out today.  I would like to propose that we meet and call together about setting appointments.  Rather than this back and forth thing.

Should I open email with a SET?  Sorry you are having trouble finding one, I can imagine that would be frustrating, I've had success in finding providers and would be happy to share my list with you.

Thoughts?


below is email I got this morning

Sorry... . it is incredibly difficult to find someone accepting our insurance who is also accepting new patients... . This is the only person I could find... . he mentioned an appointment at 2:30 May 7th but the kids are in school. The next date he had was Tuesday MAy 13. I will call and see if he has anything else soon if not we need to keep this appt. This appt is for the children NOT FOR US so there is no need to worry about missing it. It has been months and the simplest quesitons I have asked have still not been answered and I brought up the children seeing someone months ago... . they need to be able to talk to someone. I will do my best to get another appt close but if it prolongs the wait for the children I think we should keep this one. THis conflict between you andI is hard enough on us... . it must be even more difficult for them.

[formflier]

Generally I don't have anything against concept of my kids doing family therapy.

The email below went to me and my oldest 4 kids.  I would rather this not be handled "in front" of them... . but that is also how wife handles things at home... . tried to play victim in front of them.

My uBPDw main operating mode is to do things with kids where I have no control.  Then act like... . I wish I had known... . oh my gosh... . I hope you don't think I was making you less of a parent.

Right now I have very little authority in my home... . I have chosen this to try to not put kids in the middle.  I may have emoldened her by doing this... . if I need to get more into that... . let me know.

We did talk about it months ago... . I found it incredibly easy to get appointments.  uBPDw would not discuss it any more... . I and didn't pursue it. 

Note how she aired some of her grievances.

I would like to get a response out today.  I would like to propose that we meet and call together about setting appointments.  Rather than this back and forth thing.

Should I open email with a SET?  Sorry you are having trouble finding one, I can imagine that would be frustrating, I've had success in finding providers and would be happy to share my list with you.

Thoughts?


below is email I got this morning

Sorry... . it is incredibly difficult to find someone accepting our insurance who is also accepting new patients... . This is the only person I could find... . he mentioned an appointment at 2:30 May 7th but the kids are in school. The next date he had was Tuesday MAy 13. I will call and see if he has anything else soon if not we need to keep this appt. This appt is for the children NOT FOR US so there is no need to worry about missing it. It has been months and the simplest quesitons I have asked have still not been answered and I brought up the children seeing someone months ago... . they need to be able to talk to someone. I will do my best to get another appt close but if it prolongs the wait for the children I think we should keep this one. THis conflict between you andI is hard enough on us... . it must be even more difficult for them.