The BPD getting involved with my in laws

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hello,

My BPD sister has written strange emails to my in laws and proposed a "sexual adventure" with my father in law. She also wrote to my sister in law talking about being a lesbian etc. And also mentioned something about her husband being part of the Mexican Mafia or something and my in laws felt threatened. I also feel threatened by this behavior as it goes over a line that she'd never overstepped before. She has been talking a lot to my mom about my job, my pay, etc. I am now worried that she will try to contact someone at my job. She threatened my husband on the phone the other day saying, "he better watch his back". I have these calls recorded where she curses me out etc.

Do you think it is possible to get a restraining order/protective order to stop her from contacting me and my family (including in laws? Do they have to apply for themselves? It's ME who ends up being put in a humiliating situation and her actions try to destroy my relationships) and job? She does these things sadistically and seems to really enjoy humiliating, embarrassing, threatening etc. me and my family.

It's the last straw for me but I don't know if I actually have to wait until she does something ELSE before I can protect myself. Is this enough? I have many harassing and abusive (nonsensical as well) emails and phone recordings. Is this good enough evidence to keep her away from me?

I keep trying to think, maybe I can have a relationship with her... . but then I realize that she's getting worse and worse and it is not safe to allow her into my life at all anymore. I have to draw a line somewhere and sometime. That's going to have to be now, though I'm still debating with myself and really just trying to deny the truth about her.

[TwilightVelvet]

Hello,

My BPD sister has written strange emails to my in laws and proposed a "sexual adventure" with my father in law. She also wrote to my sister in law talking about being a lesbian etc. And also mentioned something about her husband being part of the Mexican Mafia or something and my in laws felt threatened. I also feel threatened by this behavior as it goes over a line that she'd never overstepped before. She has been talking a lot to my mom about my job, my pay, etc. I am now worried that she will try to contact someone at my job. She threatened my husband on the phone the other day saying, "he better watch his back". I have these calls recorded where she curses me out etc.

Do you think it is possible to get a restraining order/protective order to stop her from contacting me and my family (including in laws? Do they have to apply for themselves? It's ME who ends up being put in a humiliating situation and her actions try to destroy my relationships) and job? She does these things sadistically and seems to really enjoy humiliating, embarrassing, threatening etc. me and my family.

It's the last straw for me but I don't know if I actually have to wait until she does something ELSE before I can protect myself. Is this enough? I have many harassing and abusive (nonsensical as well) emails and phone recordings. Is this good enough evidence to keep her away from me?

I keep trying to think, maybe I can have a relationship with her... . but then I realize that she's getting worse and worse and it is not safe to allow her into my life at all anymore. I have to draw a line somewhere and sometime. That's going to have to be now, though I'm still debating with myself and really just trying to deny the truth about her.

[Kwamina]

Hello TwilightVelvet.

I can't tell you if this is or isn't enough for a restraining order, but I certainly agree with you that your sister has crossed a line in a major way. Her behavior is highly inappropriate, very strange and indeed threatening. I'm sorry she is trying to poison your relationships like this. Could it be that your sister is jealous of you and the life you're living? Her behavior seems to suggest that jealousy could be at least a partial motivation for her. Has she ever exhibited jealous tendencies towards you before or tried to interfere with your personal relationships in other ways?

The reality of having a sister with BPD isn't easy to accept but it sounds like you're coming to a point now that you're finding it harder and harder to deny this truth. Quite understandably so since she has clearly crossed several lines here.

[TwilightVelvet]

Yes, she's been jealous of me since we were children; I actually believe that she didn't want me to exist because I took some of the attention from her and as mom tells me, my sister has been an attention seeker since she was a toddler at least. Now she just makes up stuff. I try to set her straight but she doesn't believe what I say. I have "a house" which actually is owned by my husband and his parents and I'm not on it as an owner but my sister says, "you have a house, you have money! you're so rich!" etc etc. But I tell her straight out that the house costs a lot, lots of maintenance and work, taxes and so on. We're always paying something. She does not believe me. She just insists on her own ideas and views of reality. Because of this I think she's dangerous to me and my family. She can't accept truth at all.