6 months after breakup

[drxap]

I am on a lease with my exBPDgf, for the place that only she lives in. But this month that lease expires! And the landlord is signing the deposit only over to me! I'm not sure she realizes this because she sends me messages wanting me to pay more of the rent and threatening to keep the whole security deposit and call my parents (not sure what good that would do?). She is even under the impression that I am on the lease for a few more months. She's not very bright, despite the persona she created to attract me to her.

Right now I am living at my parents house which has, in many ways, been worse that living with BPD girl. I am only here out of necessity until I get my first paycheck and am able to move somewhere else. They constantly talk down to me and show complete disregard for my feelings and thoughts, and I can't do or say anything about it. Their negativity is rubbing off on me and ruining my relationships with other people. Its a struggle to be confident or even relax in my free time. I just want to grow, be positive, make friends and be happy. The longer I stay here, the more damage I have to repair.

I am thankful for my relationship with my exBPDgf. Without her I would have never seen that I had some serious issues. And now, thanks to her, I know that a lot of my issues are a product of the environment I grew up in and how I've tried to cope with it. I know how to listen to my feelings and instincts.

Now that I can see myself so clearly, I can become who I want to be. She is the best thing that ever happened to me, but don't tell her I said that!

[AwakenedOne]

drxap,

You have an amazingly good attitude considering all your going through. You probably better give her half of the security deposit when you get it to avoid problems. The thing with living with your family I'm sure is rough. Maybe if you can be out a lot away from them each day you get some peace. Just doing stuff to be busy then use the place as a place to sleep. That way you get less grief per day. Hope things smooth out in your life.  

AO