Contacts me

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

uexBPDbf is living with replacement…after about 8 months of bliss, I was contacted and most recently he contacted me to say it wasn't working out and that he wanted to re-connect. I responded (it's been 2 years and I have mostly healed, solidly dating again ). I know the pattern but it's hard to believe they actually do this! Of course, I turned him down and then he messaged to say he was going to try and work fix things with the girl he is with. I'm kind of in shock because everything I've read on these boards is true! It seems they really do try to recycle you, even years later…and, his new relationship seems to have followed the idealization pattern (8 months) and then devaluation. Mostly, I feel for the new girl and the abuse and torture she must be going through   They really don't get better, do they?

[vangirl60]

uexBPDbf is living with replacement…after about 8 months of bliss, I was contacted and most recently he contacted me to say it wasn't working out and that he wanted to re-connect. I responded (it's been 2 years and I have mostly healed, solidly dating again ). I know the pattern but it's hard to believe they actually do this! Of course, I turned him down and then he messaged to say he was going to try and work fix things with the girl he is with. I'm kind of in shock because everything I've read on these boards is true! It seems they really do try to recycle you, even years later…and, his new relationship seems to have followed the idealization pattern (8 months) and then devaluation. Mostly, I feel for the new girl and the abuse and torture she must be going through   They really don't get better, do they?

[Pieter2]

Halo There

Yes, they do. Again and again and again. Have you also noticed how their opinions of someone can change in an instant? How, a person is all bad but as soon as you have a fight they turn to that person again and then they are just perfect again?

Fact is, you can be recycled like the rest or stand up against the abuse and not be an enabler. I chose that option and think that I'm better off and not part of that group/cycle anymore.