Abandonment

[LoveLove]

It's interesting... . pwBPD fear abandonment, yet, THEY are the ones who abandon us. I'm assuming they already believe in their minds that we will eventually leave once we "uncover the truth" about them. Thus, in order to protect themselves, once they feel they get close, they simply leave.

Although, I'm reading that many also come back only for the cycle to go around and around. Luckily, most will admit they have a problem and will seek help, which is always a plus! 

Thoughts?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[nothing]

My experience is if I am devalued in their mind they want to abandon me to go off and do all the irresponsible, self destructive activities BPSs thrive on. It is only until they crash and burn they will come back or if you are having too much fun with out them.

[LoveLove]

My ex is currently in therapy ... . so I don't believe I have devalued him. However, I know that what HE initiated talking about, and I continued with, is what freaked him out, which made him pull away since he felt he had gotten too close to me. And in turn, he decided that he needed help ... .

And yes, self destructive activities - mine promised he wouldn't get another motorcycle after his accident ... . but before we stopped talking (we have no contact per the therapist right now)... . he told me that he is soon getting another motorcycle... .

Such odd behavior... .