I feel so hurt. I was in a relationship for two years. During this time we figured out my ex has BPD. They would describe "splitting" in arguments where they just couldn't connect at all to the love they had for me and would act in a rage way or extremely cold and distant.
We were in couples therapy for a year. After a year in review session they stormed out after relapsing the night before and broke things off. This was 7 weeks ago. I am heartbroken because despite all that the good times were the best I ever had. We did a pandemic together just us, we made a life together, a home together, we talked about getting pets together and buying a home. We had the cutest dates, loads of interests in common, a similar sense of humour and taste in aesthetics. They supported me to process some big things in my life. They were my family.
We have to live together because we'd just signed a new lease we can't get out of and I can't afford to move on.
They have quit their job (they have a large inheritance) and gone on holiday for weeks alone. I'm devestated and feeling so much loss and they just seem to be living their life and not processing anything as sad.
Is this a sign that I was just a bad person for them altogether and that easy to get over? Is this common for people with BPD? They used to write to me promising change and that I was all they wanted after they'd taken it too far in arguments. Literally a week before we broke up they made a big social media post about how much they love me on our anniversary and how they wanted many more years with me. I'm so hurt and confused.
They are coming back home on Sunday and I'm so scared of how much of a mess I am and that I will be triggered by the quick change in them. I'm scared that I won't be able to hold it together when they clearly can. I can't seem to move on like them. They said that they didn't process things with their last serious partner before me either and that they do care about me and love me still but they dont act like it. They have already deleted all pics of me off their social media, not just couple photos and told me that it's because they dont want potential new dates to see it. It's been seven weeks and we still live together...
And no I can't just move out. My hours have been cut from work and the UK is going through a cost of living crisis with everything shooting up in price. I don't have money saved for a deposit and the housing crisis is bad in my city.
