A Success Storey

[CamelliaFlower]

Hello, I just wanted to make a post to update for my situation.  My sister suffers from BPD and was suicidal when we were growing up and very unstable.  There were many violent and traumatic situations I witnessed over several years starting at the age of 10.  I was diagnosed with PTSD with complex trauma this year which was very rough for me to accept at first, but I wanted to make an update because perhaps my journey will help others who are having a hard time dealing with a relative/loved one with BPD.  My sister is a beautiful person who I love dearly, what I had to realize was that everything that happened in our lives related to her BPD happened to her, I was simply an observer.  I was not a victim to the situation.  What was hard for me to witness was unbearable for her to go through and this was her struggle not mine.  Always keep that in mind.  Growing up with her made me the person I am today and that person is someone who is strong, compassionate and can get through any situation.  Through therapy, meditation, yoga, and spending time in nature I have managed to get through my trauma.  I cherish everything about my sister and I would not change anything about my childhood.  I have more compassion than most people I know and I can attribute that to growing up with her.  I will always carry the scars of my past with me but I have learned it is not something I need to get over, it is part of who I am.  Never forget that everything that is happening with the BPD person in your life is happening to THEM it is not happening to you, you are simply observing their struggle.  Always be compassionate to their struggle, don't dismiss them and be there for them.  They are our family and we need to be there for them and love them no matter what.  I think the amazing support system my sister has had, as well as her remarkable strength, is the reason why she got past her suicidal tendencies, eating disorders, self harm and other self destructive behaviours.  I am absolutely thrilled to say that these days she owns a house and is in a very stable relationship with a wonderful man who loves her dearly.  They even have a puppy together!  While she still has some bad days, she has come a long way and I could not be more proud of her.  Never give up or lose hope on them because there is always hope.  I wish the same success story to all others in this group

-CF

 

[Up In the Air]

Wow, CamelliaFlower, I am in awe of the peace and love that radiates from your post!

I think it is so wonderful that you have found a happy balance and have such a healthy relationship with your sister. I am so happy for you (and her)!

So often I get caught up in anger at the abuse and chaos my uBPD MIL has caused for her family, my DH, and myself. Self protection takes over and I never feel like I don't have to worry about something. I have to admit that I have tossed away the dream of any kind of peaceful relationship with her... . NC/VLC has been the only saving grace.

None the less, it's encouraging to hear a success story! Thank you for sharing! 

[Valley Quail]

What an awesome success story... . so glad you shared this! And I love that outlook... . that it is happening to them, not us... we are simply observers. That is so important for me to keep in mind since behaviors and circumstances can get so intertwined and inmeshment happens... . and it really can feel like everything that's happening to them is happening to us too. So I love that... . it is happening to them... and we are simply observers.


I love how you have used alternative therapies like meditation, yoga, and being in nature to help you... and how you can see that your experiences have given you strength, the ability to get through anything, and compassion. Did your sister go to therapy or was she able to do it through personal strength and her support system alone?


I can relate to your path, Up In The Air... . as NC has been my only saving grace too.


Thank you CamelliaFlower, this success story of your sister, the tip to see ourselves as only an observer, the therapies you've used to heal, and the strength and compassion that the journey has given you... have brightened my day, thanks so much for sharing it.