https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=108440.0Move into the center. Resist the temptation to play an exaggerated and complementary role to a Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor. You do not want to stabilize an unpleasant situation. Instead, find and hold the center position, thereby marginalizing your adversary and eliminating their power base. The center of the drama triangle contains elements of each corner. It is a combination of sensitivity, compassion, and responsibility.
Refuse to accept your opponent’s force. Do not struggle with them, or yield to them; instead, allow your opponent to move into an indefensible position.
If you have successfully taken the center, your adversary will halt their attacks, rather than risk unmasking themselves and exposing the game.
In the style of Eastern Philosophy, you don't want to cast a loved one as your opponent; rather, take their bad habits and unskillful means as your enemy, and destroy them with your awareness and enlightened skills.
Skippy
OK... . so... . if you have followed my story about finances and some other thing in my r/s with uBPDw... . one of the reasons I sort of let things go for a bit is that the longer she persists in acting this way... . it looks completely ridiculous to the rest of the world. My role is not to "persecute" her... . or even to out her... . I just have to stop enabling or "going along" with stupid stuff. In other words... . I just let my light shine on my marriage... . if she happens to be doing silly things... . that gets shown in my light.
The above is how I would have described it before reading the Karpman triangle article.
So... . have I inadvertently stumbled around and became a Karpman genius without knowing about it... . or... . do I think I'm in the center when really I've moved to the Victim side.
Quick version as it relates to finances... . my uBPDw moved $30k (basically all reserves) from a joint account to a new account that is in her name. This is after publicly accusing me for a long time of of hiding money... all sorts of stuff.
I really don't care about money... it's a tool... . not much value there other than how to get things done.
She obviously thinks money is power... and has grabbed more... . all for herself.
Other than shining the light on this... . (bringing it up in counseling)... . I've not sued her... . stopped the current direct deposits etc etc.
This put her in position of explaining to MC that she did this to be able to put a roof on the house... . and "just happened" to be out driving around with a checkbook... . on the same day she was textbombing me and making threats against my reputation and job if I didn't do what she wanted. I was setting a limit on that day... . by going about my business and not responding to threats.
Well... she followed through on some of the threats and I haven't reacted.
You could see the MC "get it" as she listened to this ridiculous explanation that my uBPDw seemed to really believe. In all honesty... . I think right now she really believes what she is saying.
Thoughts?
