Sending card to sister of NC mom

[StarStruck]

Hi - I am NC with my mom however I have a half sis, much younger but coming to adulthood.

I don't have a relationship with her as such but what do I do about her birthday.

When I went NC I was pretty sure I was still going to send a card but unsure now.

If I don't to the step dad/mom do I the daughter? she lives in their household.

I'm a bit stumped and would appreciate advice.

many thanks BPD family. SS x

[PleaseValidate]

I feel like from your post that you want to but are worried about the fam interference. If you do want a relationship w her, i think you should send a card, keep it brief, stress the fact that you are there for her and open to a relationship.

Remember that it might be read by the rest of the fam. Or she might not even get it at all depending on your fam dynamics. 

[StarStruck]

Thank you PleaseValidate,

Thats interesting you say, wanting a relationship with her - even though I'm fond of her and her big sister, I am not worried about a relationship as such.

Think it's more to do with the fact I don't want her to feel rejected, as all this is nothing to do with her. It's a tough one because I no doubt have had my name marred by her parents anyway. I  feel like I need to do the right thing by her but not fussed if she returns a thank you etc. prob rather she didn't.

When I went NC in the letter, I didn't spell out that my/her moms an abuser but would still look weird that I haven't bothered with parents then I send her a mail. Like I'm trying to spite the parents, my family works best if you don't poke the hornets nest. Such a difficult situation, maybe  I should just not bother with this.

- She's in touch with my bro, maybe if she ever wonders why I dropped her, he could perhaps reassure its nothing to do with her? -

Im prob bigging up my importance in her life up too much and she wouldn't be fussed (likely) but I do feel bad that on the chance that she feels knocked because of it.

Maybe should leave it letting her think, Ive gone strange better that way?

[PleaseValidate]

"Think it's more to do with the fact I don't want her to feel rejected, as all this is nothing to do with her."

That is extremely touching!  I think I forgot there are people who actually care in that way!

Maybe via your brother is the easiest way to go if you don't want to walk the nest yet still get your point across.

Good luck with your decision.