A dream of revenge

[Dolly rocker]

Just wanted to share this with u guys... .

I have been NC for a while now. And he keeps trying to get In touch with me once every week or sometimes several times a week. And although I ignore his pleas for contact I daydream of turning up at one of his gigs looking all gorgeous (I've lost some weight and am tanned now, so I'm looking my best) then I'd walk to the stage and leave a note that says loser. I'd then blow him a kiss and turn my back to him and walk away during his performance.

Never to be seen again.

Change my emails, my telephone numbers, change my fb account.

So he would have that very last memory of me looking gorgeous and walking away for good.

Now back to reality... .I could never do it, as I know it would set him crazy. And that's the last thing I want. But the thought of doing it is so comforting!

[coldboy]

your best revenge is ... .that you are already moving on and healing from the wounds of your r/s 

[mywifecrazy]

And you're BETTER than that. Don't sink to his disordered level. 

I do like your thought though

[enlighten me]

Im afraid to say that as satisfying as you would find it he wouldn't see it that way.

He would probably think of it as you wanting him back.

In his mind "Look at all the effort you've made, you've come all this way to get my attention etc etc"

Ive often thought of revenge. Totally shattering the ex wifes dreams by posting some emails she sent me while she was convincing her new fiancé that we were over.

Or the more harsh telling my exgf that she has BPD, her children are showing signs of it and she will go through the rest of her life lonely, never finding true happiness, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake until one day even her children will want nothing to do with her. She will end up as the sad old drunk lady in the bar being picked up for a quick leg over and then discarded like a used condom.  Where as I will one day find the happiness I deserve and live a fulfilling life where my children love me and want to be with me.

I let these thoughts run around my head for a while then drop them as I realise all any of this will do is cause me more trouble.

[brokenbutalive]

Just wanted to share this with u guys... .

I have been NC for a while now. And he keeps trying to get In touch with me once every week or sometimes several times a week. And although I ignore his pleas for contact I daydream of turning up at one of his gigs looking all gorgeous (I've lost some weight and am tanned now, so I'm looking my best) then I'd walk to the stage and leave a note that says loser. I'd then blow him a kiss and turn my back to him and walk away during his performance.

Never to be seen again.

Change my emails, my telephone numbers, change my fb account.

So he would have that very last memory of me looking gorgeous and walking away for good.

Now back to reality... .I could never do it, as I know it would set him crazy. And that's the last thing I want. But the thought of doing it is so comforting!

Hi Dolly rocker

I've also had thoughts of revenge and getting even. It's perfectly normal and natural to want to show them exactly what they've lost. My ex girlfriend would constantly tell me she was out of my league, that she could get any man she wanted. Admittedly she was very attractive and now and again when we were out in a bar I'd get the occasional comment from other guys saying "well you must be a millionaire" or words to that effect implying that I was punching well above my weight with a girl like that. Of course she would love that, and would taunt me about it for days afterwards. I have never considered myself unattractive but by the end of the relationship she had convinced me I was.

So yeah I've been down the gym a lot since I left her. I'd like to say i was at the stage of healing where it was all about me and trying to better myself for my own sake, but I'd be lying. It's totally about her. I'm angry and bitter and I want to look the best I've ever been because of her. I want her to know that I'm fit and strong and healthy and getting on just fine without her. Not that I ever really want her to see me again, and as enlighten me has already pointed out it would be a futile gesture anyway, she would take it as another huge boost to her ego, but for now, the thought of getting my life together again while she continues in a never ending cycle of pain and unhappiness is enough to motivate me to get fit.

So anyway, you say you've lost some weight, are tanned and looking well. Good for you, even if it is still about him. Our ultimate goal should be complete indifference to them, but in the meantime, if it's your burning anger and sense of rage and injustice that's motivating you to get out there and improve yourself then that's fine too, for now. Use it, get better, meet someone else when you're ready and then leave your ex in the past where he belongs.

[Dolly rocker]

I know guys... .I COULD never do it.

But I like to entertain myself with this thought whenever I feel angry at myself.

But like I said it's just a dream!

[peiper]

In my experence nc is the best revenge, thats where it hits them the hardest.

[Arminius]

Live as if you HAVE done it.

I've thought about scanning  the love letters and emailing them to all the people she tells lies to , you know, all the ones she tells that I am controlling, I don't live her, etc etc ... .would be hard to get them to accept those stories if they saw the sad of love letters. And all the lies she tells about other aspects, maybe a few pictures or videos would kill that too. Bit, you know, I'm not that guy. I won't stoop low.

One day, when the people she lies to see the truth, then maybe I'll remind them that she lied about me. Until then, she can drop dead. She dead to me.

[Tausk]

As far a revenge is concerned, anything that I think I can do to hurt my ex, will be turned around against me.  Remember, the Disorder always wins.  So even if I simply tell the truth, the Disorder will turn it into a, "see you are so abusive, I'm glad we aren't together."

The Disorder always wins.

But ironically, and honestly, the best revenge that I can inflict on my ex is to live well.  In my ex's limited capacity for emotional processing, seeing me do well, and seeing me as a good person is in direct conflict with the black and white thinking of the Disorder.  I have been painted evil and smeared.  The concept that I might have some good in me... .DOES NOT COMPUTE.

It confuses my ex and causes her pain because of her limited capacity for emotional processing.  So sadly, even by moving on and living my life as best as I can, and being the best person I can, and by forgiving and committing my efforts to a life of meaning... .these are the actions that cause my ex the most amount of pain and distress.

The Disorder is b___.  The Disorder does not want happiness.  The Disorder always wins.  The only way not to lose is not to engage and leave as a victim.

[peiper]

With mine I would have been happy to watch TV together, make love and hold her. But it was her watching TV in the bedroom, making a meal only for her and telling me how lacking I am. Its made me sick, I mean really sick