Is it progress...

[Livestrong97]

Is it progress to come to the realization that true love isn't constantly given and with a disagreement completely taken away?  I know that no relationship is perfect and there are disagreements.  We were just away with friends this weekend.  The husbands did something the wives (me) disagreed with.  Given the same situation, the healthy relationship (couple) easily resolved the conflict, however for me and my uBPDh it blew up into a crazy disregulated attack on not only me, but my deceased father and the children overheard him!  He has continued to be unbearable to be around the rest of the weekend and brought our nice weekend away down for me and my children.  During all of this it has occurred to me, yes he is a wonderful loving husband at times but at his discretion he strips me of his affection and love.  I'm tired of the anger and detatchment I feel toward him.  If and when I bring this to his attention it will all be turned back on me that I am too sensitive and he is the normal one. 

[Mutt]

Is it progress to come to the realization that true love isn't constantly given and with a disagreement completely taken away?I know that no relationship is perfect and there are disagreements.

If your looking in the middle it's progress.  

Given the same situation, the healthy relationship (couple) easily resolved the conflict

You had an embarrassing display in front of friends and your kids this weekend I'm sorry   I think you may be a little hard on yourself Livestrong97. Where's the middle here? They may have disagreements behind closed doors that people don't see. It's not guaranteed that they are truly happy from what you see with your eyes. Only they truly know as a couple.

Your husband has an emotional based disorder and your H felt anxiety and stress and doesn't have the ability to self soothe and became dysregulated. It's embarrassing for you for him to display that in front of everyone. You feel anger towards him and likely a little depressed if your detached?