NC due to her being on holiday - dreading the return tomorrow

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

My uBPDw (separated) has been on holiday abroad for 3 weeks and it has been heaven due to the enforced NC. Got a phone call from her last night as I am kindly (stupidly?) picking her and the children up from the airport. The phone call started of course with an obligatory rant / complaint.  I said that she was entitled to her opinion, but I didn't agree with her.  Changed the subject. She didn't like that and tried to raise it again later.  I shut it down again.

Don't think she'll like the fact that I have spent 3 weeks doing a lot of thinking and certain new boundaries will be set on her return regarding our contact.

Dreading her return though - what a great 3 weeks I've had!

[Thrace]

My uBPDw (separated) has been on holiday abroad for 3 weeks and it has been heaven due to the enforced NC. Got a phone call from her last night as I am kindly (stupidly?) picking her and the children up from the airport. The phone call started of course with an obligatory rant / complaint.  I said that she was entitled to her opinion, but I didn't agree with her.  Changed the subject. She didn't like that and tried to raise it again later.  I shut it down again.

Don't think she'll like the fact that I have spent 3 weeks doing a lot of thinking and certain new boundaries will be set on her return regarding our contact.

Dreading her return though - what a great 3 weeks I've had!

[MommaBear]

Sometimes I wish I could send mine on vacation for good, even if it does mean him living in luxury on a beach somewhere, just to have the peace and tranquility of NC.

But taking the time to focus and ground yourself is good, and you used that time wisely.

New boundaries are tough to set, but at least you got to re-charge before gearing up for the storm to come. You can do this. I managed without the "re-charge" period, and you can do it too!

It'll be worth it in the end! We're rooting for ya!

[Thrace]

Thanks for that MommaBear.

Setting those boundaries has been tough even in the few days she's been back, but I will persevere!

Yesterday I got a phone call at 7am, asking if I can ring in sick for her at work!  Unbelievable.  I didn't do it of course.  Her work knows we've split - how weird would that have been.

She's resigning on Monday because she believes all her colleagues are against her.

[MommaBear]

Thanks for that MommaBear.

Setting those boundaries has been tough even in the few days she's been back, but I will persevere!

Yesterday I got a phone call at 7am, asking if I can ring in sick for her at work!  Unbelievable.  I didn't do it of course.  Her work knows we've split - how weird would that have been.

She's resigning on Monday because she believes all her colleagues are against her.

Keep going strong! Refuse to do her favors. My xhwBPD, until veyr recently, would call me up or text asking me to look things up for him, phone numbers, addresses, emails, whatever. I said, "I'm not your freakin' secretary. Do it yourself."

For this I got a rash of anger and was called "mean."

Yes, I'm mean. I'm the b-word. I'm all these things.

But I'm not a doormat. And I never will be again.

Stay strong!