Rage episodes. Do they remember?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

There were a lot of BPD behaviors that I could have tolerated because of my love for him, but the deal breaker for me was his rages that I could not allow around my son.  In his attempts to contact me lately my dBPDexbf seems to not acknowledge the seriousness of his rage episodes.  There were several incidents over our time together that he blew off afterwards, but the last one was while my son was sleeping and he was screaming and punching himself in the face and breaking things and spitting (I don't know if this is usual behavior, but he would literally spit on things when he was in the midst of his tantrum), but once the episode had passed he seemed to not really remember the details or understand what he did or why I was upset.  When they do this are they completely blacked out and not remember it when it is over?  My S8 has Autism and is also prone to violent episodes that I have to get through with him and can only prevent him from injuring himself or others.  After they are over he doesn't seem to have any recollection of what happened.  I'm wondering if this is also the case with pwBPD, or do they remember and simply justify it?

[Karmachameleon]

There were a lot of BPD behaviors that I could have tolerated because of my love for him, but the deal breaker for me was his rages that I could not allow around my son.  In his attempts to contact me lately my dBPDexbf seems to not acknowledge the seriousness of his rage episodes.  There were several incidents over our time together that he blew off afterwards, but the last one was while my son was sleeping and he was screaming and punching himself in the face and breaking things and spitting (I don't know if this is usual behavior, but he would literally spit on things when he was in the midst of his tantrum), but once the episode had passed he seemed to not really remember the details or understand what he did or why I was upset.  When they do this are they completely blacked out and not remember it when it is over?  My S8 has Autism and is also prone to violent episodes that I have to get through with him and can only prevent him from injuring himself or others.  After they are over he doesn't seem to have any recollection of what happened.  I'm wondering if this is also the case with pwBPD, or do they remember and simply justify it?

[myself]

How much of it would they even admit, or face? My ex would remember and not remember. Change the story, deny parts of it, embellish, etc. With the usual outcome of somehow it was my fault, my confusion, and even that I was the one raging, not her. She knew, and blanked it. How much by choice?