Ceruleanblue
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« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2014, 03:07:19 AM » |
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I too had a sibling who was older than me, by about 10 years, and she used to be super mean to me. I wouldn't say she was as awful as your brother was, but it was still what I'd consider way beyond the "normal" sibling stuff. She seemed to seek me out to be mean to. I'd hide when I got left alone with her, and I got left alone with her a LOT. She did and said things to make me feel inferior. I think this did really set me up to taking more verbal abuse from people than I ever should have. It felt "normal" to me. Or at least I felt like I was so used to that, and I could endure it.
I've sort of worked through that, and I no longer hold resentment towards her. I wish it hadn't happened but I was a child, and she was a teen, and I'd bet if truth be known, she feels guilt for it. She sometimes felt badly after, or maybe she just feared our parents, because she'd sometimes be punished.
Most people seem to have family of origin issues or programmed from their parents. I had great parents, but that relationship with my sister, seems to have set me up for a lot of this. I always knew it wasn't okay how she treated me, but I was just so used to it.
Years ago I spent a lot of time blaming her(only to myself of course), but I've put that behind me. I can only blame myself for my choices. I chose my current husband, but I certainly didn't know he'd have BPD traits. It does feel familiar though.
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