I am positively seething

[SpringInMyStep]

I wonder when this anger will subside! My wife moved out 3 days ago and kept the keys, saying she'd come by gradually and get her stuff since we don't drive. I've been just positively seething since she left! It's like a whole year of repressed anger and emotions are coming out all at once!

I angrily packed the rest of her stuff last night and emailed her telling her I wanted her friend to come up here and pick everything up and I would send them in a cab back to her place (it's really close by). This is going to happen tomorrow.

When I'm over something, I move FAST.

I have already contacted a divorce lawyer, thrown away all the foods I bought for her that were in the fridge, packed her stuff and put it in the middle of the room, removed her from most of my social networking sites, hell I even deleted myself from dating sites because I don't want to date anyone right now because I'm afraid they'll turn out to be a crazy b___. I am serious.

I already have my friends back... .I have a social life... .plans... .I can go out and DO things and not sit around waiting on her and buying her things.

When will this anger stage end? Or will I always feel like this?

[mywifecrazy]

I wonder when this anger will subside! My wife moved out 3 days ago and kept the keys, saying she'd come by gradually and get her stuff since we don't drive. I've been just positively seething since she left! It's like a whole year of repressed anger and emotions are coming out all at once!

I angrily packed the rest of her stuff last night and emailed her telling her I wanted her friend to come up here and pick everything up and I would send them in a cab back to her place (it's really close by). This is going to happen tomorrow.

When I'm over something, I move FAST.

I have already contacted a divorce lawyer, thrown away all the foods I bought for her that were in the fridge, packed her stuff and put it in the middle of the room, removed her from most of my social networking sites, hell I even deleted myself from dating sites because I don't want to date anyone right now because I'm afraid they'll turn out to be a crazy b___. I am serious.

I already have my friends back... .I have a social life... .plans... .I can go out and DO things and not sit around waiting on her and buying her things.

When will this anger stage end? Or will I always feel like this?

Don't sweat it that your angry that's normal. It's ok to embrace your anger too. Just don't process it in an unhealthy way that could get you in trouble. First find someone SAFE that you can talk to and vent. This is important because you don't want to vent with everyone. If you know someone that went through a divorce they will be best as they will be able to relate to your feelings. Try to also do something to PHYSICALLY let out the anger. Exercise, scream (don't laugh I do it all the time in my car and it lets the tension out), lift weights get a punching bag, etc.

I feel for you brother, DIVORCE SUCKS I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Sincerely... .MWC

[eagle755]

I still have that anger man. Its been 3 months since my break up.

still soo much anger

Going out and doing fun stuff is the best idea. Flirting is good too, I'm not dating or anything because I feel the same way. But flirting helps. Like, I'm skeptical of every woman now haha. Not good.

[SpringInMyStep]

Thanks guys. I forgot to mention that I'm also a woman  not that it matters for this story. Haha.

I'm definitely talking to lots of friends... .friends who I never had time to hang out with because I was always with my wife, taking care of her!

I'm also on this weird cleaning binge... .that's how I process things. My condo is going to be SO clean. I also just ordered new bedding so I can throw out the old comforter that reminds me of her. I am cleansing my environment to rid it of all traces of her. So I think that's a healthy outlet?

I do have a lot of energy and will probably have to take my dog on a long walk today. She will benefit from all this! Hahaha.

I just worry about whatever the next stage is. In the 5 stages of grief, the next one is bargaining, then depression, but I've already gone through those. I was SO anxious and depressed when I was with her that now I feel free! I have my life back and it's so great!

[myself]

I just worry about whatever the next stage is. In the 5 stages of grief, the next one is bargaining, then depression, but I've already gone through those. I was SO anxious and depressed when I was with her that now I feel free! I have my life back and it's so great!

The intensity will fade. The more you focus on yourself now, the better. You sound like you're already doing well with that. Grieving isn't a straight line, there's no real order to it. You might stay with anger for awhile, go back to sadness, with combinations of other feelings. You'll find you are ok, and then may cycle through again. Each of us is different. There's no schedule/time limit to processing this stuff. Keep busy. Keep seeing friends. Keep going.

[willy45]

The anger will go away. But my suggestion for you right now is to harness it. Let it build. Anger is the emotion that allows us to detach. It's a stage. A good one at that. Think of it as the knife that severs the attachment. Use it. Took me a good long while to get to that stage (about a year) and it was only when I fully used it and felt it that I was able to start to detach. You will be as angry as you need to be for as long as you need to be. It will go away once you're attachment to her inside of you is gone and you don't need the anger anymore to protect yourself.

Good for you! You are doing great.

[SpringInMyStep]

thanks guys! I just got back from a long walk, over 2 miles and I feel good! of course a little retail therapy along the way helped too. haha.

I think what's making me so angry is that I fell for her ___ for so long! how did I get caught up in her drama and not see it, when all of my friends did? yeah, funny how suddenly I can see everything so clearly and my feelings for her are fading fast.

[letmeout]

Love is blind.

[SpringInMyStep]

apparently I can't swear on here? can i even edit my post to fix it?

[MommaBear]

I know how you feel, strawberries.

I'm going through some of our old stuff, and every time I see something that belongs to / reminds me of my xhwBPD, I just want to toss it in a box and give it back to him ASAP, otherwise throw it in the trash and never look back.

Of course, I keep all his personal property in a box and return it promptly, but the items/memories are like real, tangible assaults that put knots in my stomach every time I see them.

Sometimes I want to - literally - vomit.

Cleaning is a good way to go. I am trying desperately to rid myself of anything that reminds me of him (within reason, I keep the wedding photos for our little one, but that's about it), and really focus on those things he used to put me down for, or didn't like, or couldn't appreciate.

I really, REALLY love decorating my new place with things I know he'd never like, because it's MY place now, not ours (HIS, in reality - sharing wasn't his strong suit), and it reminds me that he didn't break me.

Keep going strong! Reclaim those pieces of yourself that belong to you!

[topknot]

Amen, MommaBear! I am totally changing things around. He has moved out a little at a time.  So every time there is a piece of furniture or wall decor missing,  I have gone to Goodwill and replaced it with something oh so cute. He stiffed me on half the rent,  but calmness and no drama is a beautiful thing!

[SpringInMyStep]

Yes! It's so exciting to just be able to BE me! I was suppressing so much of myself for a year that I forgot what it was like to just relax.

Last night I made myself a filet mignon for dinner and enjoyed it with a shot of good bourbon (my favorite things!), then crocheted out on my deck, then read a book. It was nice and peaceful... .she didn't like peace... .she went towards chaos.