Celebrity Obsessions

[happyfingers]

Ever since I was a child, my BPD mother always had some celebrity somewhere she was obsessed with.  In the 1980s, it was Jim and Tammy Bakker.  She put on their show every morning to watch, and of course she was a PTL Partner in that nasty fraud that ended up sending Jim Bakker to prison for eight years.

Her current celebrity obsession is Glenn Beck.  Not only does she watch his shows and belong to his website, but she puts up pictures and sayings of his around the house and even bought his sofa in an online auction.  I would never again dare to contradict anything Glenn Beck said on TV.  One time I did, and you'd think I just committed some seriously blasphemy, the way she reacted.

Her biggest and most enduring obsession is Scarlet O'Hara from Gone With the Wind.  She has paintings and artwork all over the house depicting Scarlett and Rhett, plus wine glasses with their names and numerous other knickknacks.  She used to ask me what I was going to do with all that stuff when I inherited it, and one time, when I was in a daring mood, I told her truthfully, "Well, from eBay it came, and to eBay it shall return."  I laughed like it was a big joke, but I don't think she really found it all that funny. 

Do any of your BPD family suffer from these same celebrity obsessions, or is that just something special my mother does? 

[HappyChappy]

Are you aware Scarlet O'Hara is widely considered to have Narcisstic personality Disorder ? You could argue Histrionic, but she's considered on the scale.

Just googled Glenn Beck and he admitted to being a narcissist... .

[happyfingers]

Really?  Wow.  Well, there ya go.  She loves Scarlett O'Hara and thinks Scarlett is someone we should all be emulating.  I guess that doesn't bode very well for her seeking treatment for her mental health problems one of these days.  Why change when she's so near to perfection already?  I wish I had more pictures of her house from the last time I was there.  Scarlett and Glenn Beck are everywhere.

Something else that disturbs me is one particular large wall in their vacation home.  She's bought letters at the local craft store to spell out, "The Duchess," which was her name for my daughter.  (I was "princess."  Gag.  I know.)  On that wall are 20-30 pictures of my daughter throughout her life.  A year ago, she let loose on my daughter so violently that my daughter fled the area and no longer speaks.  The other day, when my daughter got about 20 emails from her in a day, one of the emails was a picture of that wall, letting her know that the wall is still up.  Rather than feeling cherished, we're both creeped out.  The last time I saw someone with a shrine like that, it was a serial killer.

[Levi78]

My uBPD mom's obsessions are Paula Deen & Guy Fieri. (They are Food Network "celebrity" cooking show hosts.) Beside the fact that they are documented racists & homophobes, it's also embarrassing that mom loves them because she is morbidly obese. I tried to talk to her about the negative press and Deen's hypocritical bait & switch in light of her diabetes diagnosis but mom just brushed that all aside. My mom won't see a therapist and is becoming increasingly agoraphobic -- I believe she uses food to medicate. These "celebrities" just feed into her sickness.

[HappyChappy]

happyfingers It is creapy behavior. I've have read that BPD can stalk, can get obsessed. Described in clinical terms: "A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation (also known as 'splitting'"

Here's a link to an article on it:

www.my-borderline-personality-disorder.com/2013/11/intense-unstable-love-affairs-BPD-letting-go-past-loves.html

Does sound like you might want to keep your distance. Are you NC ? Hopefully that way, your BPD will find a local source of narcisstic supply. They do say that with a BPD, past behavior is the best indication of future behavior, so I guess you know your BPD... . 

[happyfingers]

Does sound like you might want to keep your distance. Are you NC ? Hopefully that way, your BPD will find a local source of narcisstic supply. They do say that with a BPD, past behavior is the best indication of future behavior, so I guess you know your BPD... .

Yes, we are NC, with the exception of all the emails and a check she sent my DD, which DD asked me to mail back to her.

I was thinking about her obsession with Jim Bakker and Glenn Beck this morning, and suddenly it hit me they have something in common these days: They're both hawking freeze-dried food for the coming "Apocalypse," among other things.  Mom's got an attic full of that stuff. 

[Lulu1313]

My mom is obsessed with Dog the bounty Hunter and his wife and kids. One day when I was visiting she kept talking about some girl,Lisa, who had just had a baby. Finally after wracking my brain I asked who Lisa was... .it's dogs daughter. There was like a two month period where Dog was worked into more conversations than I'm comfortable admitting!

[Sasha026]

I almost fell off my chair when I read your post.   "Well, from eBay it came, and to eBay it shall return."  Daring - but hilarious.

My BPD mother died in 2013, so I don't come here too much anymore, but from time to time, I read the posts and I felt that I just had to respond to yours.

My mother had a few favorites but one that stuck out was Vanna White from the game show, Wheel of Fortune. She would speak of Vanna as if she were her golden daughter. ":)id you know that Vanna just had a child, she married a very rich man and he takes care of her - she's so wonderful". That was said at my dinner table, across from my husband - grrrrr. I looked at her and said, "Mom, she turns letters (sometimes wrongly if she had a bad night) on a game show. This is not brain surgery." She looked down at her food and looked hurt and sad that I could besmirch the good name of Vanna. I'm sure if Vanna auctioned off her used braziers for charity, my mother would have bought them all.

She also loved Gone with the Wind. Scarlett and Rhett... .boy do I remember that. Once she had a "home theater party for her oldster friends". First dinner, then popcorn and drinks while they watched Gone with the Wind (which was kind of cute that she did that for her friends). Yeah - looks like we have the same type of mother.

Your sense of humor will get you through this - keep it up!

[Shelle]

I have an obsession with a certain rock band, but I mostly keep it to myself. 

I don't think celebrity obsessions are specific to BPDs.  If it were, celebrities would not have very much success.  (I know that isn't what you said, but it's worth pointing out.)  I think the difference with BPDs is that they cannot regulate their emotions well enough to hide their obsessions like most people can.

[aubin]

I agree that celebrity obsessions probably aren't specific to pwBPD. But splitting can make these obsessions seem more intense. My uBPD mother doesn't obsess about celebrities necessarily but she does talk about celebrities and public figures as if they are people she actually knows, to the point where she will express intense emotions about these people who she's never met, never will meet, and who will never have any impact on her life. In contrast, she seems to not give a crap about her family or other people who actually are in her life. My BPDexgf was the same way -- very emotionally concerned about celebrities but flippant or aloof towards friends and family.

[sparrowfarfrom home]

My mother was / is obsessed with dr phil. She liked diagnosing me thru his 30 minute miracle cures of really messed up people. She told me i should go on the show!

[Gerda]

I wonder if it's easier for BPD's to get obsessed with celebrities because they can idealize them, and since they'll never meet them in person, the celebrity never gets a chance to do anything that makes the BPD turn around and hate them. Unlike actual friends and family members.

My mom's favorite person seems to be Judge Judy. It's all "Judge Judy said this" and "Judge Judy said that." She didn't want me to get roommates in college because she was afraid they'd steal my stuff because of this Judge Judy episode she saw, and now she's all paranoid about my husband one day divorcing me and stealing all my stuff because on Judge Judy, blah blah blah.

I think JJ is bad because it feeds her paranoia. She thinks everyone in the world are like people on JJ. I tried to explain to her that they pick out the most outrageous cases to be on that show, and I'm not even quite sure if those people are even real, but HOW DARE I SAY SUCH A THING!

Judge Judy isn't even right all the time. I have a friend that has a pit bull, and my mom said pit bulls are more dangerous than other dogs because when they bite their jaws lock. I told her that's an urban legend, you can ask any dog expert, or just look it up on Snopes or something, and it will say that the jaw-locking thing isn't true, but NO JUDGE JUDY SAID SO, SO IT MUST BE TRUE! 

But that makes me wonder about what else Judge Judy is wrong about. My mom thinks she's super savvy when it comes to legal and financial matters from watching JJ, but I just dunno.

I've never watched Glenn Beck, but I've heard he can get into some paranoid conspiracy theories, so I wonder if that's something BPD's like about a television personality. It's someone to confirm that they were right all along that everyone really is out to get you.