How did you get through the "moving out" part?

[michel71]

We had the talk tonight. After 5 days of being apart, thinking it might just work out between us, within 2 hours of me returning home, we had an argument. i tried to use my skills to defuse, listening, validating. When it was my turn to talk she listened to NOTHING that I said, twisted my words around, interrupted me, accused me of ridiculous behavior and actions, the usual. We were getting nowhere like always. I finally just said "o.k you are not happy... .what do you want to do". She said " I don't want this anymore". I said okay and then told her we need to discuss the particulars. I told her that it's better if she leave sooner than later, that I would buy her tickets for her and her daughter to return, give her some money to get settled and then give her money per month for a reasonable time until she found a job. She said that there was no way she was leaving until she found a job and then housing and she wasn't going to leave on MY TERMS, for my convenience.

I told her that I could not face the packing up, moving out part of it and it would be too upsetting and that is why I thought it better we just do this quickly. I then told her that I needed to get a student to rent my other room ( its my house... .I bought it 20 years before I met her) for some extra money TO GIVE HER. She told me that she will see a lawyer and prevent me from doing that. She said that she has her right to privacy. I was kind of amazed she came up with that answer right away ... ." see somebody"... .makes me think that she has been anticipating that. Legally she is incorrect; however, I don't want to make her feel worse, so I don't want to be a complete ass even though we could use the money for her move.

BOTTOM LINE: How did any of you get through the moving out part? Was it amicable? Hostile? Difficult? No talkie? How long did it take? Did your BPD go quietly. Was your BPD cooperative?

I have been gutted for weeks now. She told me that she loved me less and repeated it tonight. Honestly those words were all I need to hear. I did tell her that she has not been a wife since she got here and broke her vows to love and cherish. It has been all about her. I don't matter. Nothing has been good enough.

[topknot]

It has been Nightmare on Elm Street.  Lost a lot of my things,  he had to make a huge production leaving, and I can only say, praise the Lord the craziness has left my home.

[hergestridge]

Basically, our separation was delayed for years becsuse the only circumstance under which my wife would leave would be when ih had got so bad that she couldn't stand it anymore and left of her own free will. When I have suggested separation previously she has just said "no" (which is plain bizarre!), propably because she needs to feel in control of the separation, coupled with her fear of separation.

Still she feels entitled to much more than what's hers legally. I have told her to consult someone on the legal side if she wants something from me, and nothing has happened.

[Tibbles]

I left and found a rental. He had been threatening for years to throw me out so I was sort of mentally prepared to go - I'd been in the position of not knowing if I had a place to sleep at the end of a days work for years and so had a plan if I couldn't go home - where I'd got etc. How was it - hostile to say the least. Good luck with getting her to go - my ex was never going to go, so it was up to me.