Need help an advice on how to work with my daughter an support would be great.

[Catriona]

 

First time on here 22 year old daughter diagnosed after admission to hospital last year... .been tough year now my daughter wants to come off all meds ... .and in lost i do want my girl back ...

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

Hello Catriona, and welcome to bpdfamily.

I hear the anguish in your post and want to be able to help. I understand that your daughter was only diagnosed a year ago, and now wants to come off the meds. As a parent the very idea of her stopping the meds, can be terrifying.

Can you offer more details, for instance, is she in any kind of therapy, are you in any kind of therapy or self help group?

How is she with you? does she open up to you?

I know you feel a little bit lost right now, but you came to the right place. This site is full people with experience and are here to help and advise. There are Lessons and Tools on the right side of the board, I suggest starting with them. They are quite helpful, and will teach you some important communication skills.

Please continue to post, I will be thinking of you

[Lollypop]

Hi catriona

Welcome.

My BPD is my eldest son who is 25.  He does not seek treatment and is addicted to weed. He was diagnosed last September and he returned home following a crisis.

I hear your pain and grief. I totally understand that feeling of loss and desperate need to have your child back. It took me a long time (pre diagnosis) to accept my BPDs25 will never be the person I'd hoped for. He's an adult and makes his own decisions, I don't agree with them but part of his progress is for him to take full responsibility for himself. In a way, I think it can be easier if your BPD is still a minor.  However, as an adult, there's no doubt about where the responsibility lies. Yes they are vulnerable and it's a delicate balance. We are feeling our way forward as a family.

I've been here on this forum for about 7 months now. It's been a life saver. The more I learn the better I understand, the less I react, the more I understand his limitations. His life will not be the one we'd hoped for but it will be his, and he needs to find his own way forward as he walk alongside him. We don't always get it right but slowly, we progress.

I look forward to reading your posts. Please read as much as you can, practise validation skills and post. Ask for advice or reassurance when you need it. Theres much to learn. There's no judgment here and everybody understands. You don't have to take the advice but very often there's wisdom and experience that really really helps,

L

[Bright Day Mom]

Welcome Catriona

My D16 dx w/BPD too, along with other dx.  I have to caution you NOT to come off meds without dr supervision. Though I am not a dr and can only share my experience this is a dangerous slippery slope. Depending on the med, dosage, length of time, and so many other factors will all come into play with how she physically and mentally copes with med change / discontinuance.

I too recommend this site for all the lessons, recommendations and other parent insights as they too  are invaluable.