Hello Infared,
I know you are right about more pain and she's not trying to reconnect with me directly at the moment. But this covert contact. What's it all about. Triggers me massively that's for sure. Pushing my buttons. Is she trying to reach out now in her own weird way? Yes, I believe she is. However, it's cowardly and weak and absolved of any responsibility.
What's the next step? Is that the last of it or what. I just don't know and it's eating me up.
Mine did this a couple of years after she left me... .(BTW she married her new supply, I think... not sure). She saw me in the supermarket... .knew my car and where it was parked (for all I know she saw me on the road somewhere and followed me there! LOL!). She ran out of the store before me, ran past my car with a cart full of groceries and laid in wait to "ambush" me. (I knew none of this until after the event) When I came out ... she tried to "accidentally" run into me. Thank God, my reaction was to put my head down in disgust, speed up, and arc around her (YES... she treated me THAT poorly!), and head directly for my car. I turned back and she had given out a great big sigh and collapsed over her shopping cart and was playing massive "victim". (The mere thought of this viper being a victim is now hilarious to me... .but boy can she play the part and used to suck me in lock, stock and barrel)'
Then she headed off to her car, which was three isles over and I had known exactly what she had done.
I got to know, without even talking to her, that she was still VERY sick. It was not an accidental run-in (she is still a LIAR), she went waaaay out of her way to create a fake situation that was slanted in her favor (she is still a MANIPULATOR), she set the thing up so that if, well... .it was an accidental run-in then she had to take no responsibility for the contact (she is still extremely immature). ... .I guarantee you she was doing the whole event to just find out about me for her own self-centered curiosity, nothing more. If I had talked to her the "set-up" would put the whole interaction on my emotional dime and I would not have fared well... you see... .I still care about her... .and that would have made me extremely vulnerable and she would have just carved me up.
I wonder how her husband would have felt if he was there to witness her antics. The way I see it she managed to insult both of us with one sleazy, self-centered action.
Interacting with one of these people after the fact is just not good for us... .no how ... .no way... .These pages here are riddled with account after account proving that to me. The stories are all so similar... and I know that I belong here learning about my relationship. I have to keep on detaching and slowly but surely I get healthier and healthier and along the way I can learn my part that I played in the whole dance. There were reasons that I got involved with someone who is soo sick. When I read your story, I know you are similar to me and are going through all of the painful back and forth that I did... .and that others relate in their accounts here. I wish you well and hope that you can take care of you and love you and become a stronger more complete person... . pwBPD eat us alive!
