She texted me trying to recycle me after 4 months...

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

I got a text last night from the uBPDex saying " You forgot that you loved me" ignore this . That is all I wanted to say"  I was so angry. I ignored it for a few hours and I replied not too ever contact me again. told her she had problems and to go fix them. I know... .I know ... .I should have not replied to her text, but i was shocked to see her text.  She came back with "what you want me to kill myself? I am reaching to you and this is what I get? "I completly ignored it so far.  Looks like she is already having problems with my replacement and she is trying to recycle me after 4 months... . 

[Cocoon]

That is heart breaking. I empathize.

It's normal to care, and to reflex out of concern. I'm proud of you for being here, and trying to do a healthier pattern.

[Infern0]

Typical cryptic,  mind warping BS

Stay away my friend

[fromheeltoheal]

So use it as a learning experience; what did you learn about yourself you didn't know, and how did your reaction compare to where you thought you were in your detachment?

Moving forward, if you do want to remove her from your life, you might just ignore it or say something boring like "please do not contact me again".  If you engage beyond that, you are showing her an attachment is still in place and she will see it as an opportunity to continue the attachment, on whatever level.

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

So use it as a learning experience; what did you learn about yourself you didn't know, and how did your reaction compare to where you thought you were in your detachment?

Moving forward, if you do want to remove her from your life, you might just ignore it or say something boring like "please do not contact me again".  If you engage beyond that, you are showing her an attachment is still in place and she will see it as an opportunity to continue the attachment, on whatever level.

I believe I learned that I'm a codependent person. I'm working on that! My reaction is what expected . I got angry . I truly loved that girl! She lied, cheated and abused my love for her. Probably the guy that she replaced me for has dumped her recently . Now, she is reengaging to see where I'm at with her. To be honest, I couldn't care if she killed herself! Will do a lot of good to a lot of people she  betrayed!

[fromheeltoheal]

I truly loved that girl!

To be honest, I couldn't care if she killed herself!

Sounds like you've still got a lot going on there.  One thing that helped me as I worked through it was to discover what I was in love with.  It certainly wasn't her, or at least the love was not reciprocated, by any stretch, and instead of love I got abuse, so what was it I loved?  A fantasy, turns out, and digging into why I favored fantasy over the reality has been very growth-inducing.  So what did you love?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

I truly loved that girl!

To be honest, I couldn't care if she killed herself!

Sounds like you've still got a lot going on there.  One thing that helped me as I worked through it was to discover what I was in love with.  It certainly wasn't her, or at least the love was not reciprocated, by any stretch, and instead of love I got abuse, so what was it I loved?  A fantasy, turns out, and digging into why I favored fantasy over the reality has been very growth-inducing.  So what did you love?

I love the person she portrayed to be! Caring and being a normal human! I found out the inner ugliness and suffering she has in her.  I'm mad at her , mad at myself also for letting her abuse me mentally and physically! 

[fromheeltoheal]

I love the person she portrayed to be! Caring and being a normal human! I found out the inner ugliness and suffering she has in her.  I'm mad at her , mad at myself also for letting her abuse me mentally and physically! 

Yes, I understand, I wanted to literally kill my ex for a time too.  The anger you have towards her will fade as you create a better life for yourself, but you can use the anger at yourself as fuel for growth.  What do you need to do differently to not fall for someone being something they're not next time?

[Notsurewhattothinkofthis]

I love the person she portrayed to be! Caring and being a normal human! I found out the inner ugliness and suffering she has in her.  I'm mad at her , mad at myself also for letting her abuse me mentally and physically! 

Yes, I understand, I wanted to literally kill my ex for a time too.  The anger you have towards her will fade as you create a better life for yourself, but you can use the anger at yourself as fuel for growth.  What do you need to do differently to not fall for someone being something they're not next time?

Yup ! I've learned to see the signs of  the desease! I always look for the symptoms . I am starting to realize that maybe some of my friends ( girls) may be plagued by this too

[Cocoon]

I truly loved that girl!

To be honest, I couldn't care if she killed herself!

Sounds like you've still got a lot going on there.  One thing that helped me as I worked through it was to discover what I was in love with.  It certainly wasn't her, or at least the love was not reciprocated, by any stretch, and instead of love I got abuse, so what was it I loved?  A fantasy, turns out, and digging into why I favored fantasy over the reality has been very growth-inducing.  So what did you love?

@fromheeltoheal - This paragraph of yours is very powerful. I've been meditating on my fear of loneliness lately, because it feels more authentic than the BPD relationship. Searching your soul for "who/what did I love" is a pretty deep thought process. TY

[Loveofhislife]

And Cocoon--thanks for pointing out what I believe kept me ensnared in the abusive relationship for so long: loneliness and boredom. I'm really working on getting what I need from me: not "co-depending" on anyone else. There is a real tendency to trade one addiction for another, and I've suffered through three of these r/s with BPD and NPD. I'm going to go back to the Harvell Hendricks book, "Getting the Love You Want." For now, I'm trying to "replace" that loneliness with LOTS of social stimulation and activities. But I know I need to be working on getting more comfortable on just being with me.

[pieceofme]

i had a similar experience last week. my ex has made repeated attempts to talk (via text). my standard response is, "leave me alone." after several short exchanges (in which he accused me of leaving him [he walked out on me] and never caring about him), he asked, "do you want to be notified if i die?" what a crazy thing to ask